A
female
age
30-35,
*oIorDontI
writes:Hi, I live in a mid terrace block of 3. To one side I have my sibling and to the other I have a really nice guy.I moved in here near the end of last year and I must admit it was a shock. Not because I have a place of my own, but because it's next door to my sibling. I didn't expect it, but it has it uses. We get along, at times, and help each other out.But...The really nice guy at the other side of me is really cute and a gentleman. I mean he engages in conversation when we chat over the fence, and he isn't afraid to start one either. There's just one problem, I think I have a crush in him. When I say crush, I mean it's gotten to such an extent I'm dreaming about him, and not normal dreams either. It's silly dreams but he's in them, helping me, sticking by me, etc. I don't know what it is but I just dream about him. Not all the time though, thank goodness. Otherwise it would obsession, which I don't want.He's single, like me, has kids (2) from a previous relationship, like me (1), who see him when he isn't working. He works on a ro-ro ferry, 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. I just don't know how to go about telling him, if I should? Our kids go to the same school, so when he has them, we see each other. Our kids are friends, as they are in the same group at school. But I don't know if likes me? How do I tell? I mean we have only been neighbours for 8 months. He makes me smile and I don't know if he even means too, I just do it. How do I find out if he likes me too? I mean if he doesn't, then at least I know.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 April 2017):
 When he has the children invite them all over for dinner. That way you will get a chance to get to know him even better. Don't run before you can walk. Just take your time and get to know him before building up your hopes. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2017): Well, are you okay with taking the initiative?
It would not be out of the ordinary for you to suggest going out for coffee one morning. Since you are neighbours and friends and have kids in common. Even a friendly coffee which can result in just a friendship is not the worst thing in the world if he doesn't like you "that way."
It is tricky because IF he is not on the same page, he will still remain your neighbour.
So, you will need to save face, just in case. You have to be very casual about it. Just in case he does not feel the same way and you will keep seeing him about because of his close proximity and because of your kids.
So, I would just be casual about it. You cannot determine much if you just keep talking around the fence. You have done that for 8 months. Lol You need to go further to talk more and see if there is anything more to this friendship. So, a coffee would be a good bet. Who knows? Maybe he will just be somebody you like as a friend and once you know him better, the crush could actually dissipate. Or you might find you have more in common than you thought and want to pursue it further.
Do you have any hints about his feelings? Usually women have a sense of if a guy is interested in them or just being polite. For some men, it is rather obvious and for others, it is not. But women still have a sense of it. Sometimes if they are shy it is because they like you. And sometimes if they are outgoing in your presence, it can also be because they like you.
I am wondering why he has not initiated something more if he was interested during these 8 months? Is he a shy man? You would wonder if he is seeking a relationship himself or maybe he is not and therefore has not approached you? Or does you being his neighbour also cause him to hesitate the way you have hesitated?
Somebody has to take the lead or nothing will ever come of it.
I believe in taking risks in life, not hanging back and watching life pass you by.
If you want something, go and get it.
If it works out, that is wonderful. If it does not, at least you know and are not left wondering.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (24 April 2017):
 Ask pairs of friends to dinner. Also invite him. Park the kids somewhere for the evening. See how it goes.
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