A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: i have a problem. im 14 and i have a boyfriend hes 17 and ive known him since i was 12. i really love him and care about him and i dont want to leave him but ive been having this crush on another guy for the longest while and he likes me back,actually i feel like i kinda love the other guy too but i dont understand how i can fall in love with someone im not even in a relationship with?. all we do is talk on the phone and hang out in school.hes like one of my best guy friends.im soo confused .plzzz help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): It's natural to feel attracted to other people now and then, it doesn't mean you should act on it. If you are confused, why complicate things?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): Hello sweetie,
of course you are confused, you are only 14, a time when we all have lots of crushes, lots of falling in love, dating until when we get much older, when we've learnt want we want, experienced some life, travel etc and then settle with one partner.
You are way too young to think about commitment with one boy, you are on this planet a long time...80+ years if your're lucky, so you have plenty of time to meet someone special after some good old fashioned dating and fun.
This is why we DATE, as it's NOT a commitment for life, just an exploration of what we feel, and if it's not right for us,(and unlikely to be so at 14) we move on and date someone else. So if you like this other boy, be kind to your present friend the one you've known for years, and tell him it might be time for you both to meet other people. It's highly likely if not now, at some point, HE WILL WANT to date other girls. At 17 he will come into contact with lots of other girls, so don't don't feel too bad. Always be kind and honest, and that way you know you've done the right thing IF and when you move on.
Enjoy some dating and getting to know yourself!
Jilly x
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