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How can I cope with this crippling feeling?

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Question - (9 December 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *ost_Soul85 writes:

Ok, my problem is this...

I have just split up with my girlfriend of 2 years. God I love her but she says she doesn't love me anymore. Well, actually she says she does love me, she just doesn't think it will work (we argue alot) and that she is not attracted to me anymore.

My heart has been split in two, I am in total despair and I really feel like I may choke to death.

We always had a turbulant relationship, she has dumped me several times and she has NEVER followed this action through - but this has to be the last time, she is slowly destroying me. I feel unloved, unattractive, isolated and lonely.

So my question is, how can I cope with this crippling feeling? I have arranged to stay at my best friends house as of next Thursday so this will definatley help but I'm just so scared of the world and my immediate surroundings. I feel like a social retard. I do have friends, but most of them live far away from me.

I do have a small social circle in the city I live in but I want to forge some new bonds elsewhere and create a life of my own. I have a wonderful job working at the university with student that have learning difficulties and there is talk of a promotion in the air. I do not want to forsake this oppurtunity but I feel at the minute I want to ditch it all, get away from this place and renew my confidence elsewhere in a place that has no memory of my ex attached to it.

She is/was my life and I am so pathetic. I have isolated myself through my own stupidity and now I have to claw myself back out of the rut. I am rock bottom and need advice

View related questions: best friend, confidence, my ex, split up, university, unloved

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A female reader, Rebel13 United States +, writes (10 December 2007):

Rebel13 agony auntI agree. Heartache is part of life but so is happiness. Day by day it will get easier and you will start thinking differently. You loved/love her, its only natural for you to feel this way. I was going through the same thing a few months ago with my now ex fiancee of four years. One day I just thought, I can't wait and rot in sadness. My family needs me and as do my friends. I started living again and yes it was hard at first, but the more i pushed myself the better i felt. And now i found a new woman that treats me ten time better then my ex ever did. You'll find happiness again, just take it a day at a time and start letting go. I know its not easy, but its the only thing you can do. There are better girls out there and you'll find one that will treat you as you deserve to be treated...loved, cared for and attractive.

Good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007):

hey buddy wow it seems as your really down on yourself. I know this is probley the hardest thing you probley had to deal with but let me tell you something that life does go on with or without your ex. You can't give up on everthing u wanted everything you worked for cause of this. I'm going through the same thing right now and trust me have the same feeling go through me as you do. Stay strong and with every passing day things will get easier as well as clearer.

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