A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, my friend who is 18 comes from a very broken home. She is pretty stressed out about her life. It started when she told the police what her step father did to her in 2007. Her mom does not believe that she is telling the truth and thinks that she is only saying that because she doesnt like her step dad. My friend had been living with her real father because she couldnt take her mom living with her step dad who had cheated on her mother. He now disappeared from the state. Since then her mom has basically disowned her, along with her sister who hates her too.Her life with her real dad has not been that bad until recently. Her oldest best friend who moved away for 6 years came back to the area, and she has been staying out with her till 1 or later drinking. Her dad told her that she needs to be home at a certain time but she keeps rebelling cause shes now 18. Her dad then recently kicked her out and even though she just got a trailer with her best friend and her best friends boyfriend, i worry that they wont be able to make ends meet. They all just got out of high school and chances of further education are slim if they cant afford it, and i just dont want my friend to become a messed up alcoholic because of all the stuff shes going through.I dated this girl for 2 years, and i felt that since we were together i could make her life better, and i did. We started as friends but it grew to something much more, and we never fought in the whole time we knew each other. Things didnt work out because she left me for a guy who only dated her a week and cheated on her, but she felt bad about it afterwards and knew she made a mistake. Since i was upset about her leaving me we didnt talk for months. In the time apart i realized how much i care for her and wanted to get that bond we shared before back.We have recently become friends again about a month ago, and i do still love her to bits. I'm feeling kind of replaced since she is now best friends with the girl she's moving in with, but i cant blame her for finding a new friend in the time we were fighting. I dont want to tell her how i feel, even though i'm pretty sure she still has feeling for me because of the way she acts, because it would just be another thing thing for her to deal with, but i do really want to somehow help her through this.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (14 May 2011):
 you may not be able to heal her, for she has been through so much and it eats away at her from inside, the pain, her mother's denial of her pain, and the lack of justice and redress for what happened to her.
She may even need long term therapy to face what did happen to her.
The best thing you can do is listen to her, continue to demonstrate that you believe her, That alone is huge.
But when you get the chance to distract her away from her friend, let her know that you want to continue to be supportive and a friend. Gaining her trust may be diffcult for you, but persevere.
Then it is up to her,
Best of luck with this
Abella
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