A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll start off by telling you I'm a crossdresser (I think). My life seems to be in a loop where I go through phases of wanting to dress up 24/7 and then phases when I don't even think about clothes or being feminine. I feel really comfortable wearing lingerie, and a dress or two, nothing overly sexual and often dress up when I get the opportunity and desire. Dressing originally used to be sexual pleasure for me, but over 5-6 years it's sort of disappearing. When I am my alter ego I feel as if I am sexually attracted to men more than women, and have even met up with men for one night stands. Generally after that I don't feel an urge anymore and the desire to dress slowly fades away. I can go a couple of months where I don't need to dress and am quite happy in male mode, going on dates with women and enjoying benefits of having an athletic male body.Thing is I don't know if I should be pushing myself to become Sarah (my female name) more often or if it's something I should let go. I don't know if I'm bisexual as I consider myself to be straight under both male and female modes. I don't know if I'm transgendered either. I've been told I'm very pretty as Sarah and love getting compliments from men and woman alike. So I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice as to what I should do as I keep going in circles here. Thanks so much for your help I really appreciate it!
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (24 July 2016):
 if you are intending to stay single why do anything other than what takes your fancy when desire strikes? I guess the issue you face is what to do when you find that special someone. I would imagine it would be difficult to find someone accepting of you situation who is not familiar with living the alternate lifestyle. For example: If I were in a relationship with you I would be fine with you cross dressing but would draw the line at sleeping with other men and cheating if that is something you believe goes part and parcel with being Sarah. So I guess deciding whom it is you choose to be depends heavily on whom it is you choose as a partner. If you are sleeping with men, you are bi sexual to say the very least.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (24 July 2016):
 I'd call it bisexual because they're still both you.
I think you should speak to a gender therapist to work out if you're genderfluid (someone who feels make some days and female others - some also feel in between at times) and to see what options you have, to figure out what appeals to you and feels right.
There's nothing wrong with you; you're just confused about what all of this means. Gender therapy is the way to go.
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