A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just started a new relationship with this guy a few days ago. We are soooo into each other. The kisses are more than passionate. So, far it's gone as far as a touch here and there. No sex. He wants it bad! And I'd like to get to know him better. Plus, he'll respect me more if I make him wait longer. It will truly show I care. Right? Do guys not see it that way? The sex jokes have been coming up quite often.. Let's take it easy when it comes to sex. His response was 'I love to have sex and I know you want us to take it easy but how easy do you want to take it. You should already know I'm not in this relationship just for that. I do need sex. How can I be so sure he's not in it just for the sex? I know we both get extremely hot and bothered, but I'm not ready yet. What should I say?!? Please, Help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want a great relationship! I told him to take it easy when it comes to sex and that I'm not ready. His response was I respect that and I'll wait for you as long as I can kiss your naked body and oral, agree?
He said several times,...I'm not in it for the sex and you should know that already. I want the real deal, I'm looking for commitment and maybe more. But wants me to call him later so that we can talk.
What do I do? I'm not going to have sex with him. The desire is soooo there, but I want the real thing..A relationship with this guy. For him to take me seriously! Help!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): Personally I feel that the "he'll respect me more if I wait" thing only applies to first dates.
You want to know him better first, then he should respect that and lay off pestering you.
It's not a definite indicator that he only wants sex though, he might just not have had any in a while, or has a high sex drive or just can't wait to get you naked, plus guys that only want sex are also capable of waiting to get it.
It's as simple as telling him you are not ready yet.
If he's that into you he'll understand. If he keeps pestering change the subject.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): So what do you want? Just sex or a great relationship based on respect and trust. The sex part is easy...it's the building of a relationship that takes time and efforts and he's not putting in the efforts anyways, is he. Why? Because this is all about him. The guy's a horndog...just make sure he doesn't 'sap the fight, nor the self-respect' out of you, by continually pestering you for sex! My advice, cut him loose. If it's just been a few days...then he's definitely in this for the sex. Listen here, guys that want to seriously date a woman, would never disrespect her in this way. They would be 'mature', wise, patient to a fault and treat you well. Give him his walking papers, today. And oh..whatever you do...do not sleep with him!
Go find a guy who respects and will value you. He's out there, this ain't the one! Good luck, hun and think smart.
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