A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was involved in a problem in an arab country and this well educated n well behaved officer helped me out of it-but before and after that incident he's been acting special/different with me.in casual convrsation he mentioned that he observes me outside,he remembers every small details that happened with me in his office-he deals with a loads of ladies -which even i dnt remember,keeps a proffessional air but acts uncomfortable when we talk but once i walk away acts very excited.recently i saw him outside off duty and he was hanging around me and trying to get me notice him,but doesn't come out and approach me.looks like he expects me 2 go and talk to him.I have already done it once to say thanks 4 that favour he did 4 me but i'm a girl i can't do that every time.He constantly looks away when we talk but when i'm not looking he looks at me.he is an arab married but unlike many other arabs i knw,he is well educated,speaks english,and does only what is right in his job-he went a little out of the way to help me though..:) and nvr tried to boast about it -I like him loads..want to be good friends with himi would like to know what does he feel for me?is he looking for friendship or....I am happy n smiling today only coz of him.my life would be a lot worse if he didnt help me..so i totaly adore him..he is my hero..but i'm confused.If he is having something else in mind and i approach him for a friendship will he misinterpret my action and think i'm an easy catch?But he never tried anything bad with me..we've had very few meeting face to face,bt from what he mentioned i suspect if he had been(still)watching me without me knowing?Y is he not coming out and talking?(coz i'm a foreigner?)just making himself visible in front of me n stealing glances?so far i have pretended as if i didn't see him(coz i feel something v.strong for him..which i dnt want to show) but it looks like he could make out, so now when he comes infront n i try 2 look, he looks away!!(does he already knw my feelings n knw it will hurt me if doesn't care?)but his friend does the job-looks at me n tells him-What does he want?it's driving me crazy.. we both r in our mid 30's and he is acting like a kid!the fact is that i like him a lot, my heart is filled with gratitude and love for him and want to be friends(that feeling is so strong i dnt knw if it s love and it doesn't matter i have no intentions of getting into a relationship with an arab-but i desperately want his friendship.m sure i can control my feelings and be just friends-just being in touch is enough-but will he be ready for just friendship in case if he feels something else 4 me?) ,how do i know what does he wants from me?I can't aproach him-please help me guess..please?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your precious time and advice..:))
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionevery weekend around the same time we come accross at a particular place without planning it ...i didn't say he is 'following'but may be making attempts to meet...i don't understand what it has got to do with his marital status...!!I just wanted a guess on what kind of feeling he is having for me..or is it just the way interpret his actions? I'm not western,but i dnt rule out the possibilities you pointed out...coz i dnt knw much about him...thank u so much!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionby the term'friendship' what imean is just being in touch so that i can greet him on occassions or adding him to my fb list etc.Nothing more.but even for that i have to ask 4 his contact no. or e-mail-how can i do that?i've never given him any hint about my feelings for him..never!!and i want a clean friendship-i can neglect my feelings for him.but not him!he kinda knws my routine by now and every weekend when i go out he is sure to pass by me!!!and nowadays keeps a stern face but it is too obvious that his friend is updating him with my actions..like if i'm looking at him etc.his changed behaviour hurts me coz what i do is to save his family life!(It s true i love him but i want him to be happy with his family!)Does he think that i am a thankless meanie....!i would nvr wnt that!if only i could find a way to be in touch with him i could get out of it and move on with my ife..now i fear that he might get transfereed and go away without me knowing and thinking that i'm a selfish person.I can't sleep.Please dnt tell me to forget him!not possible as long as i'm alive!!But im sure i can hide my feelings...Someone pls help....I expect an answer to my question not advises to stay away from his marriage..Either we'll be good friends n be in touch.otherwise i'll have to live with hurt n guilt for the rest of my life...bt no way i'm getting into a relationship with him so please dnt advise on that..pls...
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): You mentioned that he is a married man, why do you think he is following you??
Dear, there is wide preception in the middle-east that western women are "easy" and would welcome anybody in their bedroom.
It looks to me that is expecting "something" in return for his favours.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): You mentioned that he is a married man, why do you think he is following you??Dear, there is wide preception in the middle-east that western women are "easy" and would welcome anybody in their bedroom.It looks to me that is expecting "something" in return for his favours.
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