A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i am so confused i just dont know what to do i have been recently having an affair with a married man (i am separated) .I have 2 children and he has 2 children.We knew each other many years ago and started a relationship but went our separate ways.When we got back in touch we were both honest to each other and admitted we were both unhappily married and had stopped loving our spouses along time ago.We tried to stop the affair because of the guilt etc but found that we couldnt bare being apart and realised it was because we loved each other.We got found out and he had to stop contact with me(i had already split with my husband) .he had to do this in order to stay to be with his children.He told his wife he did not love her but would stay to be with the children as he cant stand the fact of not seeing his children on a daily basis.I am pregnant and told him last week i know he has told his wife because of the text i received from her.I am keeping the baby as i dont believe in abortion and i am willing to take responsibility.I have not heard from him in over a week but have received another text from his wife to tell me they are rebuilding their family and never to contact him for anything and its my own fault i got pregnant and told me to get on with it.It makes me think she has his phone or he is happy never to contact me and everything we had was a lie.I know i have done wrong and i am facing up to what i did,but how can he stay with a woman he doesnt love even though its for his children?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): Oldest mess in the book.
He's a liar & a cheater, you eagerly helped him be a lair & cheater with you, and now there will be one more child out there with his & your DNA, so both your shortcomings will haunt another generation.
That is why people are the way they are.
A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 You are acting as if you are the victim. I will not dare compare your child that is a product of an extra-marital affair to his children that he has with his WIFE. Many people may disagree but that child will never mean as much to him as the children that he fathered with his wife. Children that were a product of a relationship and at some point LOVE. His actions prove my point he is staying for his children so he says... But he did not leave to be with you and your child. This man may have told you that he does not love his wife, and that he was unhappy...Just not unhappy enough to leave.Which is the story with most married men. This women left her husband and look. What did she get in return: a fatherless child. If he wanted to be with you he would have made a way to contact you whether she had his phone or not. Good luck to you and your baby because you are going to need it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): Your story sounds very similar to this one posted yesterday. Please read it..and the resposes..http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-we-restore-our-family-unit-or-even.html
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): You fell for the oldest story in the book, of course he loves her, she is his wife, the mother of his children and if the woman who he has built a life and a family with...why would he give that all up for a roll in the hay with an adultorous woman with low self esteem, needy personality, and someone who has no values or respect for other women not to mention the resources and intelligence to first turn to her own marriage to work out her issues instead of distracting herself with another woman's husband to make her feel that she must be a wonderful woman for a man to chose her over his own wife.
You both acted immaturely, you were both wrong, his wife has chosen to forgive him and he is not going to have any contact with you or lose everything he has and holds dear.
Leave this man and his family alone...go to church or pray to your God, what ever you have to do to get over your guilt, start taking care of yourself you are going to bring a life into the world, try to do better next time and teach you son or daughter the importance of making wise life choices and honoring the bonds of family and marriage.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): You have a child by him now too. And if he does not contact you, get in touch with the court and have them do a court-ordered DNA test, so that you can at least get child support from him. If he doesn't want to see his child, that's awful but there's nothing you can do other than to get child support. I don't know what else to tell you as I don't know the man or why he hasn't been in contact. Probably out of fear of losing 1/2 of his assets and custody of his children through divorce. I don't think he can stay with her for very long as he does not love her. Time will grind him down and he will probably get in touch with you if for nothing else, out of guilt of not seeing his baby.
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