A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please help. My mind is not reliable nor my heartI met a guy thru a mutual friend and we just hit it off chemistry wise and spiritually. He also knew my ex-bf who has abusive and terrible to me. Some of what was helpful early on was his kindness and understating of the last break up with my ex who hurt me beyond words. The new guy really took my side and reaffirmed my disgust for the exBut it was far more then that. We share so many great things commonalities. Both of us are artists and have talked about at great lengths. Are humors are similar he's intelligent and good to animals. Honesty we are perfect for each other. Except ...He doesn't want a thing serious. In fact in 6 weeks we did not sleep together bc he can't commit to anything and that's what I need. His reasons are bc he wants to focus on work and promised he would make this year about achieving thingsSo I accepted but kept getting close. I'd sleep over sometimes but no sex. Still very very intimateWe'll his bday was last weekend. I made him a cake ;) he was happy and didn't say any thing about the day but that night I saw pics on fb of him at his bday party!!! He did not invite me. When I comforted he said it was weird bc parents where there. And we aren't anything reallySo I was hurt. I told him I needed space for a whole that this was hurting me. I defriended on fb etx no contact since. And I'm hurting. Bad. I miss him and I miss his sweet dog that LOVES meWhat do I do. Does he hate me now for my behavior? If I contact now he'll think I'm loco right? Help
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 July 2014):
 The no contact is for you to move on. He won't hate you. You are at your weak moment and wanted love. What is to hate about that? If you contact him again and hang out you will be back at wanting more and not getting commitment from him.
There is nothing you do. I find it hard to transition from friends to boyfriends. If a guy doesn't date you and want a relationship then it's a waste of time. He was supportive to you but doesn't mean you should think of him as boyfriend material. Your ex experience made you appreciate the goodness in people but this is just normal behavior, lending a good ear and being nice. You weren't talk about abusive exes on a date would you? So when you stop hurting about your ex and your life, then that's a time you think about relationships.
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