A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've become very close friends with another guy over the past 2 years (both of us gay). He's so warm and natural to be around. After the first six months of our friendship I told him I had feelings for him but he said he was just looking to be friends and wanted to spend a bit more time dating other people. I accepted this as I didn't want to lose his friendship. As time has gone on since then it's become clear that there's something more going on between us. We hug and constantly flirt with each other and compliment each other but neither of us has had the nerve to make the next move. If I put my arm around him he doesn't flinch and doesn't move his leg if I press my knee against his etc etc! He even has no problem with me doing things like affectionately touching his face and hair. We just haven't got round to even kissing on the cheek yet! I'm very inexperienced in an intimate relationship sense which he knows and has accepted. We have had several "almost" moments but they fell short of either of us making that move. He's told me very recently that he's given up on his other potential suitors and that they're out of his life and has made a point of saying that he considers himself single and told me I'm very warm as a person. So, to come to a more straightforward conclusion, I need advice on whether I just "go for it" and kiss him and see what happens? If so, do I do it as part of an extended hug or spontaneously, while we're watching TV or find some excuse to do it etc? I want it to seem as natural as possible because neither of us seems to be making that first big move. Are we both just holding back and fearing rejection? One of us has to make the first move otherwise it may never happen! I don't want to wait much longer incase someone else comes into his life as that would be a disaster as guys as nice as this don't appear that often! Any advice welcomed.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2019): GO FOR IT!Regardless of his response, I don't think you will ever be satisfied until you know for sure, one way or the other. Beating around the bush will only allow you to continue to make excuses.Do it for you!You're allowing yourself to be led on because you're scared of being rejected. What's the worst that can happen? If he does not share the same feelings for you then you move on, allow yourself be fulfilled elsewhere.This is about you, your self-confidence and self-worth!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2019): Having been in a situation quite similar I'd say you're both thinking the same but just holding back. One must take the first initiative as you'll never know otherwise and this could be a true romance so let it unfold natural like. Sounds to me that he's just waiting for some green light from you. Amplify on the face touch: wipe something from under his eye and tell him he has lovely eyes, then just gently kiss his cheek for now and hug lots more and more! If thid goes well, you'Lloyd just "know" when the time is right for more. Link his arm and always keep the body contact act going. Is he just shy and hesitant? Perhaps that he's think all the same as you. Ultimate advice is to analyse less, let things natural unfolding. Sound like slow burn soul match to me.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (5 April 2019):
 He KNOWS that you like him. If he isn’t making any kind of move, or strongly indicating that he’s interested then I’d say you’re wasting your time. What person wouldn’t enjoy being fussed over? It strokes his ego. People enjoy flirting and being touched it’s human nature. It doesn’t mean there’s anything behind it.
He was very clear that he sees you as a friend only. If he had changed his mind I’m sure he would of made it known by now.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 April 2019):
 No, you don't just "go for it" you TALK to him and ask him if he would like to make a go of it together.
If you start getting TOO tactile/physical and he REALLY doesn't want to go there, thing will get pretty awkward.
USE your words, man.
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