A
female
age
30-35,
*ubbloo24
writes:Hi, I hope you can help me. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year now. The problem is that I am finding him more and more less attractive as the days go by. I find myself feeling so guilty about this and I don't usually base relationships on looks at all but I'm beginning to push him away when he wants sex and physical contact of any kind. I think this is because he has put on a lot of weight and also the fact that I find another guy attractive. Unfortunatly this guy turns out to be a good friend of his and I find myself thinking about him a lot - and I know this is wrong too.I don't know whether I can continue the relationship any more. I love him but I don't know how to tell him that his weight gain is making me feel less attracted to him. I find myself feeling a bit sick at the thought of having sex with him and I know this is horrid but I just can't help it. I've tried to hint and tell him not to eat so much before bedtime but it's not really working. I'm 19 and he's 22. Please help. xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): If it's weight he put on during the relationship, you can say you miss him the way he used to be, or say you are concerned about his health?I'm dating an overweight man and it's the first time I'm with someone with his body type (my ex could have posed on the cover of a magazine, enough said). I found it hard to deal with at first because, well, it's not really attractive. But, him as a whole I find very attractive, and I can't keep myself away from him. In your case, you need to figure out: is your lack of attraction really about his weight, or are you in general not attracted to him anymore? The fact you find his friend attractive is ok, I mean as long as it's just looking, but at some point it borders what's ok. Its for you to decide whether or not you are crossing that line.Could also be: the weight really is the true problem, and your mind is traveling to this other guy because he's got more of the body type you like. If your boyfriend lost weight, would you still find this friend attractive?
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