A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. We do not live together. Just last week, he did something that would potentially irritate my neighbors. I like being considerate to my neighbors so I asked him to stop what he was doing and he got upset. He said I was making a big issue and that if my neighbors were irritated, they would have open their doors to let us know. In the end, it all boiled down to him not liking me to tell him what to do. I am now very upset as this has created a bad image of him in my mind that he doesn't try to see things from my point of view. He left a voicemail for me the next day, as though nothing has happened. I haven't returned his call back for a few days as I felt that I deserved to be respected.What should I do? He definitely has a stubborn streak in him. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Chippy2  +, writes (14 August 2010):
He is INCONSIDERATE - there ya go - the salt thing sounds petty but it isnt! And see he treats others like that too.
If it is bothering you now - think how much worse it will get when he sees you are accepting it!
Good luck - but I say RUN - just like your gut is telling you something is wrong
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your advice. I did not call him because I was reflecting on the situation and wanted to give myself time.
He is generally an ok person but he does have his moments, especially I would say, to people around him (roomie, me, his co-workers) but not to his buddy friends.
I don't micro-manage him. I give him advice and let him do whatever he wants. In this incident, instead of him understanding my position, he went ahead to do whatever he pleases. I thought that being a couple and being in a relationship that we should both be considerate to each other?
I once asked him to pass me the salt and he said I can get up to take it (it was beside him).
There's alot of thoughts in my head, and again, thank you to those who are here.
...............................
A
female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (13 August 2010):
This is a big red flag! Not only does he not respect the neighborhood but you are right - he does not respect you!
Pretty serious issue I would say. In fact a deal-breaker for me.
How does he treat people when you are out together? Waiters, waitresses, bartenders, does he hold doors open for you? Does he walk with you and not ahead of you?
What he did with you that night wasn't stubborn - it was INCONSIDERATE and DISRESPECTFUL. I would suggest weighing out how he generally treats you - your family - friends, is he always like this or was it just an off night for him?
Good luck
...............................
|
