A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for the past 2 years. A while ago, me and him broke up for about 2 months and during then he met another girl and they quickly ended up liking each other. They didn't physically have sex, but they flirted a lot, sent a ton of naked pictures back and forth, sexted, had phone sex, webcam sex, things of that nature, a very sexual based relationship. Well now me and him have been back together for about a month and she is still in his life. I know they still talk but I don't know how much or what they really talk about. I don't know if I'm overreacting but I'm upset he still talks with her. How do I bring this up to my boyfriend?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013): He's pretty pathetic if less than 2 months after breaking up with a long term gf he is already in a highly sexual relationship with a new girl. He doesnt waste any time does he. That behavior spells insecurity and being terrified of being alone for even a secondGiven that this is how your bf is, I don't see a bright future with him. Insecure and easily terrified guys like him will not want to give up anything just in case. He will continue to keep her around as a back up.
A
female
reader, lil foxy +, writes (7 June 2013):
 If y'all are back together then why is he still talking to her. Theres no need! He needs to cut those ties no excuses. I would never in a millon years put up with that. Sorry but best of luck for you.(:
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013): The only way you can bring it up is to address the issue straight up. You're giving your relationship another go. That means you have to come clean on all fronts and start from a clean slate. The old relationship died, now you're starting a new one. It's on shaky ground, and the prognosis isn't good.The two months he was away, he met a girl on the rebound. The thing about that is, someone becomes attached and you end up hurting them. If they're still in touch, he feels he has a backup system in case things don't work out with you. The sex thing was probably pretty good too. They had a lot of fun. I think you only took him back because of her.Do you really believe they never really had sex, or is that what he told you? He's one of those guys who thinks he can get through a breakup by replacing the old girlfriend. He has the gall to still keep the line of communication open. The rebound chick has him in her bullseye. She'll do anything she has to hang on. They're usually desperate and clingy, or they wouldn't compromise their hearts for a guy on the rebound. Fresh out of a breakup. Unless she was always there on the side. Some girls just like playing with boy-toys that belong to other girls. She's not going anywhere and she plans to break you up. This time for good. The competition is a turn on for her.She's not going to be used, and dumped. He's got her naked pics and all sorts of goodies she sent him. She's given him stuff to remember her by. He must have promised her the moon to get them. She's got the goods on him too.I see another issue on the horizon. Someday you will learn when you breakup, it's best to move on. it's painful and lonely, but trying to remain friends, or wanting him back isn't always the best choice. Something was so bad that you had to let him go, or he had to let you go. If you reconcile, things aren't the same. You don't just pick up where you left off. You're afraid to bring it up this situation to your boyfriend; because you don't want a big fight to send him running back to her. In a sense, he's using emotional blackmail. Touchy situation isn't it?Well, there is a way out. Dump him. You knew of this girl and yet you took him back. You ended the relationship mutually the first time. She enters the picture, and you two are an item again? How convenient. Who's decision was it to get back together? If it was his, I doubt the girl would still be in the picture. So, I'd bet a Corvette to a donut; you took him back as soon as you knew he was involved with someone else. You forgave him and you're now choking on your decision, and he's being a dick. She's a threat hanging over your head just in case you misbehave. He's not going to be alone if you decide to go buggers, and breakup again.He has choices. What options do you have? It may only be sexual; but she's still not out of his life. They still remain connected. They just keep it quiet and under your radar.Find yourself an available boyfriend. Mentally go over the reason(s) you broke up in the first place. He quickly moved on and found your replacement. Most of the time, the person found on the rebound was just to fill a empty place. He isn't letting her go. He can't have the both of you. I suspect they were together prior to your breakup. You don't say why, but you don't want to tell the aunts the whole story. Leaving out certain details.You can go on pretending everything is like it used to be; or you can give this guy the boot and start you life over like you should have after the first breakup.You fear of losing him will overwhelm you, and you will ignore your better judgement. You hate the thought of him being with someone else. Even worse, you know who she is.Free yourself. Allow yourself to heal and get over him; so you don't have to wonder if he wants you or somebody else.Even if he doesn't want her for a girlfriend, he has a backup when he gets tired of you. He doesn't trust you anymore.Chances are, she'll get angry if he dumps her, and she'll tell you the truth about what's going on. My guess is she will someday soon anyway.
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