A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Is there hope?..... Help I'm 44 yrs old I date a man who still lives at home after 8 yrs of dating. He also lies about everything from his thinking he is a celebrity to why he still lives at home. He blames me for all that goes wrong in his life and we obviously don't even live together. He is a musician and from time to time produces other people's songs. Let me repeat from time to time.... meaning far and few between jobs. He refuses to go out and get a regular job because he says he is to good for that sort thing. When we began dating he stayed with me the first two weeks and I had to ask him to leave. He would come to visit and continue to stay until I had to ask him to go again and again. Oh important to mention he is 40 yrs old!! His mother meddles in our relationship constantly and he shares all with her. I know the deal breaker should have been learning that he still lived at home in his 30's but I guess I thought he would get a place of his own and grow up. At 40 he will probably never change! I recently lost my job of 12 yrs working as a vet tech. He begged me to move closer to his house and said that because I took care of us for so many years he would do the same for me until I got a job. He has helped here and there but nothing steady. I now have this house with another 2 bills to add to my budget. He constantly threatens to breakup when I tell him I want move closer to my family in order to help my parents in their older years and also get a job in Ohio and a nice little apartment and just try and be happy living a simple life. I know I'm laying a lot on who ever is replying to this but it's gotten out of control and I am overwhelmed. Oh yea I guess I should mention we haven't slept together in about 6 yrs. I find it hard to be attracted to a guy who is such a liar and is so lazy. Oh yea this too.... his mother does everything for him from making his bed to cooking his meals to buying his shoes and cloths. I don't want to raise a man and am not going to sleep with a boy!!! Please help.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 August 2010):
If you aren't happy then it's time to move on, this guy is not going to change. Eventually his mother is going to croak but I highly doubt that will make any of his bad habits any better, so I'd say "see ya later alligator" if I were in your shoes.
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