A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,I need a lot of help:I was dating this guy for about 4 months. During our relationship he was great, except he would never compliment me much. However I was really happy with him and started to fall for him badly.He broke off our relationship after 4 months because he was scared of commitment (or so he said). He however, insisted upon being friends and as "friends" we basically continued all aspects of our relationship for another 6 months after that...During this time he was always the one who was calling and initiating all of the aspects of the relationship.Only in the last 2-3 months has he changed towards me. We've had sex almost weekly, although he has stopped kissing me and being romantic afterwards. The calls have also stopped and the excuses keep rolling as to why he hasn't returned my calls/ messages.I have tried to talk to him on numerous occasions about being clear to me about what I mean to him/ where I stand. Unfortunately, he just becomes more distant and angry and either hangs up on me or ignores me for a period of time. I sent him a very honest and heartfelt message yesterday explaining how I feel and all I want to know is if there is a possible future for us. He ignored this completely. Why is he avoiding giving me a clear answer? How do I get one from him. Please help.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 he's giving you a very clear answer you are just not listening
first after four months he reduced you to FWB... and yet you took it and accepted his crumbs.
so step one he weaned you from girlfriend to fuck buddy.
step two... he's distancing himself from you more and more because he's done.
no he did not do this in an adult manner and he did not do it properly.
you will never get an answer because he does not have one that will sound right.... the truth is he did not see a future with you but you were good enough to hang with until someone better came along.
stop calling him
stop texting him
stop being available to see him....
he's avoiding you because he's not mature or man enough to tell you the truth and he wants you to just go away.
it hurts
and it's not what you want to hear but it's probably what will happen.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 Hi
I don't know that you will get an answer. Yes he owes you an explanation but as he told you months ago he didn't want you as a girlfriend,in a way he is just being 'single'.
You chose to continue seeing him for another 6 months just as a 'friend with benefits'.
Now he has probably met another girl, or is ready to,so he is being distant.He doesn't *need* you around even as a friend.
What you should have done was walked away when he ended it after 4months,but clearly you hoped he would return you to girlfriend status.
He just had all the benefits without being committed to you, lucky man.
Now you have to accept it's been over a long time,for him, he has just chosen to let go now.
So, you must too.Don't keep playing to his rules,play to yours.Look after yourself not him. Start the healing process and if he contacts you in future tell him firmly,your busy.
...............................
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