A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Short and sweet I hope:: I talk to this guy pretty regularly. Daily mostly. If we can't talk in person we talk on line somehow. The bad thing is we dont agree on sex because I'd like to think love happens before sex in most cases around my age range but it disappoints me that so many people similarly aged to me want to go out and have meaningless sex but this guy does. Don't mistake it I dont tell him he shouldn't nor will I ever bother because I don't care and it's not my place but he gets all huffy and ignores me for days when it pops up so I avoid it and he gets all huffy because I don't want to comment on it. What do I do now?? I'm 17 and he's 21. He was my neighbour a few years back and we just got back in contact recently and know each other more now than we did back then.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012): It's just plain old evolution.
If men have sex with 100 different women in a year, they might have as many as 100 babies that year. But if women have sex with 100 different men in a year, they might have as many as . . . one baby that year.
The most effective mating strategy for men is to have more sex partners. The most effective mating strategy for women is to carefully choose their partners.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (20 February 2012):
Men rarely feel "love" before they have sex yet women are are programmed to believe that they should never have sex unless they are in love with the guy. This is why the two of you cannot discuss this topic. He will always justify his thinking that casual sex is fine (probably because he's had plenty of it) and you will always feel it is somewhat degrading for women to have sex with a guy they don't love. Women will have casual sex but we almost always beat ourselves up about it later. It's never that easy. Someone once said it's like this; men have their sex organs on the outside of their bodies, so it's natural for them to feel so casual about it. But in order for a woman to have sex, she takes that person inside of her and that is a completely different experience. She will always want to feel much more connected to the person she is allowing to enter into her body for the sake of sex. I would say if you're just friends with this guy, the subject really doesn't even need to come up. As friends you don't realy need to discuss sex at all.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 February 2012):
IF you don't want to talk about sex, I don't see the problem. If he gets pissy because you don't want too, then honestly I would stop talking to him til he can grow some darn respect.
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