| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Me and this guy have been fooling around for a couple months now. I really really like him and he claims to like me too but says that be doesn't want a girlfriend. He'll say "let's just be friends" and then 10 minutes later we are back to fooling around again. Is this relationship going anywhere or am I a glorified bootycall?
View related questions:
booty call Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2005): Oh boy. I've been in that situation, too. He was the best make-out partner I've had, but he didn't want a girlfriend. I tried my best to avoid him after a month of seeing him, and found a much better guy. The guy I was seeing turned into a friend a few weeks later, but hey, it's better than a guy who uses me.
My point is, if you want to meet someone you have to make yourself available. If you're still with a guy who only wants to "make-out" while you want more, you'll have the short end of the stick and you'll miss opportunities to see other guys who could give you want you want.
Try taking a step away and look inside yourself. Would you tell your friend to stay in the situation you're in? If not, get out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2005): I was in the exact same situation and now we are in a loving relationship. When we first got together we both really liked each other and he kept telling me that he didn't want a girlfriend. I said that I didn't want a boyfriend either but really I so wanted him as my boyfriend. I made the decision to carry on and see if he changed his mind. But one thing that I didn't do was make myself available everytime he wanted me and also I made sure that everytime we were together it wasn't about sex. I planned things so we could get to know one another. Slowly but surely I could feel him getting closer to me. Once I knew that he wanted me and not for sex only, I told him that I wanted to be his girlfriend. I didn't demand or anything like that. He said that he wanted the same thing. But if you do put him in that position you have to be prepared to walk away if he still says he doesn't want you as his girlfriend. Even though I got the happy ending, every guy is different. I say just have fun, don't let it be all about sex and don't be at his beck and call. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (26 July 2005):
 Let's put it this way: if a visitor from another planet wanted to understand the concepts of "friends with benefits" and "bootycall", I'd steer his little green head straight to your letter.
He's taking, you're giving. I wouldn't even classify that as a "relationship", I'm sorry to say. In this guy's case "let's be friends" means "I don't care much about you, but the sex is fine".
If you're happy with that, and don't expect anything more, then you needn't do anything. Until the sex gets dull, he'll probably stick around and ring you whenever he's feeling randy. But if you're hoping for respect, committment, affection or love, you won't find it with this selfish oaf.
Decide if mindless panda-love is enough for you, and if it's not, get clear of him. You don't even owe him an explanation, since... well, let's just say you've given him enough already.
...............................
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (26 July 2005):
Youre making yourself too avcailable to this man.
Why does he need to go out with you when he has you where he wants you?
I suggest telling him next time he tries anything that you are just friends.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2005): Yes, girl you are his "bootycall"-and I think you know it. He wants the fun without the committment. Some women are comfortable with that type of situation. Personally, I think it's demeaning to woman to be treated so disrespectfully. Don't give him any more "fringe benefits"..kick him to the curb and go find a nice guy who will offer you more love, committment and respect. This guy sounds like a loser...someone you could do without.
...............................
|
