A
female
age
30-35,
*osick07
writes:I am/was dating this guy. It is complicated. I just got out of a two year relationship in May and I told the current guy some of the details and how difficult the relationship was. We had heart to hearts and I explain how I didn't want to be hurt anymore and that is hard for me to trust men. So everything was fine. Then the summer ended and everyone returned to school. His ex came back to campus and then a bunch of drama came up. he told me that they stop being involved in June which was before we became involved but ever since she came back he has already lied to me about going somewhere with her. (He later told me the truth after i confronted him) and she calls him all times of the night. she drove to my house looking for his car she cries to him and ask to see him so they can talk. He says they are friends and that he still loves and cares about her. But he wants to be with me. But she doesn't respect me. (maybe he hasn't given her a reason to) I am so tired. I like him and he gets upset when I tell him I don't want to be involved anymore. But I feel like he is telling her one thing and telling me another. This isn't fair. Should I leave him alone??
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female
reader, Sosick07 +, writes (11 September 2008):
Sosick07 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI tried to act like it wasn't a big deal, but she is not even more aggressive then before. She is so bold and he won't stand up and do something....he says he doesn't wanna hurt her feelings. So I guess mine don't count?? I like him so much but I feel like its not even worth it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): The quickest way to push him toward his ex is to do exactly what you're doing.. You need to act like his ex is just another one of his buddies and not show him any insecurities about it. Guys are very attracted to females who are self confident and independent. Spend more time with YOUR friends aside from your time with him. Show him you have interests other than him.
If you show him that you are happy and content in yourself with or without him, he will want to be with you over her. He will get tired of her crying and neediness. Guys don't like to be chased - it takes the challenge away from them.
People like to surround themselves with positive people. If you change your attitude around him he will see the difference between you and her. You will be easy to be with - she will be nothing but drama for him.
Good luck!!
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