A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am an intelligent 27 year old (never married) female. I've been spending a lot of time with a man (31, never married, has a 7 year old daughter) lately. He has been wonderful. Last night he told me that one reason we haven't gone to his house (in the month we've been dating)is because his most recent ex girlfriend still has a lot of her belongings there. He then went on to tell me that although he has asked her 3 times to take her stuff (she has a 2 year old daughter and is going through a divorce) ...she has refused to do so. She also has been staying there off and on. This didn't sit well with me. Now my first instinct would be to run- as I don't want to get hurt and I feel myself starting to fall for this guy. But then I think that he was honest enough to tell me that he had the situation going on... and he plans to remedy it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to those who answered. I think all is going well. He spent the weekend at my house.. and she was supposedly moving her things out with family assistance. I guess only time will tell if she is gone for good.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 January 2006):
I don't know about this, it sounds kinda fishy to me. I'd tread very softly with this guy until you can verify that he truly is being honest with you. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (13 January 2006):
Dear anonymous(if that's your real name :-),
Reality sinks in and one does start to question the validity of the ex staying there. However, you are extremely right in saying that he was HONEST. Let's face it; we should all be so luck to fall into an honest relationship with an honest person right? So I pondered on your question and I thought more and then some more. NO! I wouldn't like it at all, but you have only been dating for 1 month and I think this calls for a little patience. I'm sorry you will have to endure this, but I see no way to give up on someone who has been honest with you. I would however reassure him that your prepared to go to his house with him; keeping in mind that if the X does see you maybe she'll get the hint really fast. Legitamately, going through a divorce isn't easy and possibly she has nowhere to go. I would give it about one more month or at least establish some sort of more stable grounds. In addition if he really is in this honesty kick (most are in the first month) then now is a great time to ask a few more orthodox questions. Keep some faith girl, you just never know.
Happy relationship
Ed
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