| A
female
age
51-59,
*NDIANA
writes: My boyfriend and i have been together almost 6 months. He lives 50 miles away, we have our own houses and we see each other every weekend and in the week. He had a girlfriend and they kind of drifted apart after three years - 3 yrs ago (she couldn't deal with his family commitments and he couldn't be with her when she was poorly due to the same) They kept in touch though until early this year when she announced she was moving to another part of the country with her new boyfriend (that she had neglected to tell him about !) He was gutted as he said he has started to get feelings for her again.Prior to this they had planned to move in and buy a house together, he intended to propose but never did. He says he loves me and treats me like a queen but he has called me by her name 3 times, never in temper.I tried to make light of it and was not sure how it should make me feel.I told him in jest that he would have to make it upto me and he said he had done nothing wrong. She has just sent him an xmas card as well even tho he says he doesn't know where she lives. I think she has him on a string and keeping his hopes alive by sending him cards. Their relationship ended 3 years ago ! He has an ex wife and 3 children by her and told me that he felt odd getting a card from her. Please help, the more i read the more confused i become. I have tried to get him to see it from my view but he thinks i am being silly.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, christmas_cards  +, writes (16 September 2008):
I think Christmas Cards are a fine way to keep in contact if you have family. He does have three children with this woman, right?
But as for the name calling, hmm. You should sit down with him and make sure he is ready to move on.
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (28 December 2006):
 You both need to talk about this. He needs to understand how insecure this makes you feel.
But you also need to see how confusing this must be for him to. A three year relationship is not easy to erase and it is natural that a bond has established if they kept in touch.
The best thing you can do is to be supportive and to give him what this woman could not, love and commitment.
Bit concerned about the wrong name calling though. I would be VERY UPSET if my partner called someonelses name, regardless of cirmcunstances. After 6 months he has had enough time to learn your name and stick to it.
Receiving a Christmas card does not mean that he knows her address and if he has not sent her a Christmas card, there is nothing to worry about.
His ex also have a boyfriend so her gesture of sending a card might have been innocent.
Lots of hugs
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