A
female
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*una~
writes:I'm 23 and my bf is 25. We have been going out for a year and is very serious about our relationship. My bf had a kid when he was 19. He married the mother of the child but was divorced because she cheated on him. I understand he had to force himself to mature quickly after his kid was born and limited the time he spend with his hobbies (gaming with friends). I also know his ex used the kid as an excuss to keep him at home all the time. When you're a 19 yrs old guy, you're not ready to play the role of a 30 yrs old father. He is/was a really responsible guy, and took care of his family and the kid the best he could. His kid now lives with his ex and he visits the kid once a week (a whole weekend sometimes).I had a conversation with my bf this weekend, and he brought up the topic of vasectomy. He told me he has looked into that before, but the doctor said you can't get it until you're 25. Now he's 25, he said maybe that's what he will do. He said he doesn't want kids in the future. He enjoys time spent just with me. He asked if I wanted kids. For sure, I don't want them in the next 5 years. But who knows hey? I just want to ask anyone's comment about the up side and the down side of living a life without kids as a couple. I just don't want to regret not being able to have kids in the future.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (2 October 2006):
 You and your b/f are both very young (I know, I know you probably hate hearing that but trust me -- I'm 46 and I still remember how I thought at 25 and I still had so much to learn in life!)...If at all possible, your b/f should NOT have the vasectomy. Don't let him make the decision for both of you. I didn't think I wanted kids either, at 25, but now it's too late for me to have (my own) kids and I regret it tremendously. Continue using some form of birth-control. You both still have a huge chunk of your life yet to discover. Believe me, you'll be amazed by the changes you are going to go through in the next 5 - 10 years. And yes, vasectomies can be reversed, but I wouldn't recommend it as a solution. Better not to have it done yet and re-visit the issue when he's 30 or 35. Then maybe.
-Cinderella
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