A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a guy for 6 weeks and he is still checking his online dating profile. I even caught him looking online several days ago but didn't say anything. We have not had an exclusive conversation and so far he spends a lot of time with me, several days in a row at times and the other nights I talk to him on the phone so doesn't seem like he's actively dating someone else. He treats me really well and has introduced me to some of his friends even. It bothers me that he's still active on the online dating website but we aren't technically exclusive either. Should I be worried? I'm afraid to bring it up because it will be a weird conversation and I don't want to push him. I don't want to get taken for a ride either. Help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 May 2009):
 Are you having sex with the guy?
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (4 May 2009):
What do you mean you are not technically exclusive.
We are not in America.
He's either going out with you or not.
He's not psychic so you need to kick his arse and tell him that you will not be cheated on and if he wants to continue seeing you then he must NOT be on dating sites and must not assume this is some kind of casual sex thing.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (4 May 2009):
 Hi there
From a personal view, I would say be wary about getting too attached to this man just yet, it has only been six weeks.
My ex boyfriend, (who I didnt meet online) was very honest from the beginning and told me he had been on a dating website. He said he was waiting for the subscription to run out. I got a bit paranoid about it all, and really wanted to believe that I was the only one, but the nagging doubts still got to me. I ended up having a look and checking this profile he had. (Bad on my part I know) but I found out that he was still accessing it daily - not something you do if you are not using it. I was really falling for him, but this uncertainty was driving me nuts and we had a big row which ended in him taking the profile down. it reappeared under a different name a few days later. Our relationship ended after he got really distant with me and told me he wanted to "slow things down", I asked why and was told he had met someone off this dating site who he "may or may not want to date in the future" so would i mind backing off while he worked out who he wanted? I got angry, upset and hurt and walked out on him.
As far as I am aware, people are encouraged to date lots of people on dating sites in a "try before you buy" kind of way - please dont get too attached to him yet, until you have some sort of "exclusive" talk. Ultimately if you really want to try for a relationship, neither of you should be looking and be willing to take down the profile, even if it goes back up again if things dont work out.
I wish you luck and happiness
Tiger x
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