A
female
age
22-25,
*hakeWutUrMamaGaveYou
writes:I've liked this boy in my year who i've really liked since year 7. I'm now in year 9. I'm not sure if he likes me. Everyone says he's cocky, but he's always nice to me. He holds the door open, helps me out a lot and he always stares at me. The thing is, he's in the popular group, and i'm in a little group of friends. I'm disabled so that's probably why. Because of us hanging with different crowds, my friends don't think he'll ask me out. One friend actually said: "it's never gonna happen. h/n won't like you."I know my other friends think the same because of the way they act when I show them my hope.So, should I listen to my friends? If they're right, can I please have some advice on how to move on? I've tried several times and it's worked, but then it just goes straight back to him, and I'm back on square one. Please help me!!!
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female
reader, ShakeWutUrMamaGaveYou +, writes (7 September 2014):
ShakeWutUrMamaGaveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,First of all, I want to thank everyone for taking the time to help me out.I've decided. )deep breaths(I'm going to just take my own advice and find out. I'm going to ask him sometime this week. I'll let you know how I get on!!!Wish me luck!
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 September 2014):
 crushes come and go you'll have them all your life.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (6 September 2014):
 I also had a crush on a boy in high school, who was in my class. Same scenario...He was in the popular group, star on the football team, and I was not even close to being popular. He was always kind to me. He opened doors for me, sometimes teased me and always had a smile for me. He never asked me out and nothing ever happened. I graduated high school, went on to university and had huge crushes on other guys. Over 20 years later, I've had a chance to reflect on that time in high school, and I realized that he did like me, but not enough to want to date me. He is now a pleasant memory for me.
I want to assure you that in time you will get over this crush, and you will have other crushes and eventually fall in love with someone. I think this guy probably likes you very much, but if he has not asked you out or does not go out of his way to spend time with you, then he does not see you as girlfriend material. I don't think it has anything to do with your disability. People like who they like and love who they love. It has nothing to do with you or who you are or what you look like. It's about connection, and if someone does not feel that connection with you, it does not matter if you can lasso the moon and bring it to them. If they don't feel that connection, it won't happen. So don't beat yourself up about it. Just enjoy the crush. Have your daydreams about dating him and enjoy the attention he gives you. It's all good. Nothing bad about this experience. "The best is yet to come" (to quote some anonymous quote I saw somewhere)
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A
female
reader, ShakeWutUrMamaGaveYou +, writes (6 September 2014):
ShakeWutUrMamaGaveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Cerberus,
Thank you for your answer.
I haven't added everything what he does, sorry about that!
I think he might like me, because when I walk past, his friends always just giggle and the other day, one pushed him in my direction!!! Haha it was funny.
Also, when we sit with each other, we've always been playful towards each other, and one of his friends said that he likes me. Even the teachers think he's very nice because he's always been nice to me and my friends, so I'm not understanding why they say he's cocky.
Anyway, thank you for your help, I'm not afended in anyway, because you haven't been mean, you are just being realistic. Thanks xxx!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2014): OP I don't know how to sugar coat this and I really don't want to cause offence or upset you so please keep in mind I don't know you, and I don't know what your disability is while writing this, so don't take my word for it.
But it's possible they're trying to tell you he won't and it's because of your disability but no one has the heart to tell you that directly. I don't know you and even I feel bad saying it's a possibility, so I can imagine how extremely tough it would be for any of them to say that to you.
I also think him helping you and paying that kind of attention to you could be because you're disabled and you're reading it wrong. All your friends say he's cocky, I'd take their word for it, OP. I mean as a person who is disabled surely you know what it's like for people to give you special treatment. That's possibly what he's doing too.
As I said from the start though I have no idea who you are or what your disability is, so it's very possible I'm wrong. It's also very possible your friends are wrong and he does have an interest in you but they're working very hard to turn you off this guy and something tells me they're trying to protect you.
Talk to your mother or father about this, or even ask your friends if they think your disability would be a deciding factor in why they think he may not be interested. Even if they're afraid to tell you or say it's not, you'll be able to gauge from their reaction whether it is or not.
Now saying all that, OP, if you can handle rejection then I say ask him out.
Nothing ventured; nothing gained. Rejection would give you closure and who knows he may actually be interested and say yes. In your position that's what I'd do. I'd let my friends know I'm going to try it on and then I just would.
But rejection to me has no effect on me emotionally. Disappointment for a little while but nothing I've ever found distressing to be honest. So if like me you don't invest your emotional well-being in the opinions of others or whether they're attracted to your or not then there's no reason not to try.
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