A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy on the net about 3 years ago. we can talk constantly or we can go for months without even saying hi, and everything will still be fine. Well in the past 5 months or so things have changed between us. He told me that he has liked me since the day we started talking, and no matter how many girls he goes out with, or tells me about, I'm the only one he really wants. I'm nearly 18 and he's 21, when we first started talking he thought I was 18 when I was really nearly 16, I came clean about my age about a year ago and he didn't mind. He thinks the same as me, age is only a number. So anyways, with the amount we had been talking lately we decided to meet up. He lives in Wales and I'm in Essex, seeing as I can't drive yet, he came down here to see me. All the time we have been talking he has literally been my perfect guy. he makes me laugh, he's kind, always there for me, can talk about anything with him, he's basically my male best friend. He is also good looking. Basically everything I want in a guy. The only thing I don't like is his teeth, but surely I'm not so shallow that I can't have feelings for him because of that? So he came down on Friday, spent most of the day with him and my best friend (who he also knows through me) and then we went out that night to hit the clubs. Now, my mum and step dad really like him, he was talking to them most of the time I was getting ready. When we got into town, my dad was out, my dad really liked him (which is extemely rare! My dad hates every guy I know)... so he's my perfect guy, gets on with my family and is besotted by me, he even compliments me constantly, calling me beautiful! Not fit, or hot, but beautiful. so what's the problem? Why don't I like him? I personally think it's because he's too perfect, my parents like him, so I want to rebel. I also think he's too needy and clingy, although that could just be me. I work really well in long distance relationships as I usually need my own space but at the same time, I want someone who lives nearby so I can just go round and cuddle up to when I feel like it. Now when I was out, he told my best friend that he really cared about me. He would leave his life in Wales to be with me, or he would come down every weekend if I still wanted my space. He said it's not just because I'm 'beautiful', but because of the person I am, I'm honest, down to earth, and because we get on so well! So I just don't know what to do. My friends say it's because I'm afraid to get into another relationship because I got hurt in my previous two but I know he would never do anything to hurt me. I really want to like him, maybe even love him back, I just don't know why I can't. The only things I can think of is because of the clinginess and the fact that he gets on with everyone. Any ideas?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): first of all, know that you are NOT alone - every single (ANDI MEAN EVERY) relationship i have ever been in, it always goes the same. I like someone, they like me back, we go out then i just dont like them naymore, they are completely wonderful adn perfect in everyway, but you just dont find your self falling - at all! but this time im just not going to let myself ruin it - this time im going to give it a chance because you have to hae a legistic reason for wanting to end something, so before you do anything rash, just think - do you really think there could be a future for you - or do you just want a future with someone point blank - you have to be certain before getting his hopes up
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): Maybe because age is not just a number, in your case. Your parents who can talk beyond their experience haven't noticed anything suspicious in him and have given their approval, he is willing to move to your town, and you think you may not like the fact he "gets along well with anyone." This talks about your "maturity." Maybe you should investigate a bit, about the aspects that matter in relationships. It's not even the fault of his appeareance, most people are TOO concerned over this, but you say he is good looking. Moreover you say it could be due to your past disappointments, but this shouldn't influence you, if you learn that nobody is responsible for somebody else's actions, and he is not an outside projection of people who have deceived you. What you have to identify is IF his type of "perfection" doesn't correspond to your needs, or IF it's only a caprice. On the other hand good for you that you're asking yourself these questions now!, before he gave up his job and other settlements in his current town to find a residence in yours. Maybe you're not completely healed from the past but the reason you have to reject this man are juvenile. You'll have to think more maturely about this and make a decision to be happy with on long terms, you could consult your parents? In addition, you haven't been very specific about "perfect." For whom? What's perfect for our neighbour may be perfect for us, or not...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): Talk to the guy. He sounds really nice, and you seem to be able to say alot about how nice he is which must somehow mean your brain recognises it. Talk to him and find out more.
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