A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 18 just starting college. I met this guy in one of my classes who happened to know my sister. We had a long talk, and I found out he was 32. (to my surprise! He seemed so young.) Now he, my sister and I hang out all the time and have so much fun. He's such a nice and unique person, and I would forget his age except he seems so experienced and calm and in control of his feelings. I really started to like him. One day while he was helping me with my driving, I asked a series of questions about his dating preferences, ending with "Am I too young for you?"He told me he liked me a lot and felt a connection since the day we met, but he was a little worried about our age gap. Still, he said so many positive things that I felt sure he would date me. He told me he'd sleep on it and tell me his decision the next day. The next day came, and instead of asking me out, he said "I think we should just be friends," very apologetically. He didn't explain why, but I have a feeling it's because of my age. I was really depressed afterward even though I said okay, and I felt bad because it was hurting him to see me like that. He kept asking if I was okay and blaming himself for my sadness. He still comes to my house to have fun and tutors me, and I still feel the connection. It just feels sad now that I know we both like each other but he decided not to get into a relationship. My opinion is just forget age if you truly care for someone, but I understand that even though he knows I wouldn't care, he must not want to see himself as a creepy man. My question is should I continue seeing him on a friend level? I tend to get close and I don't want him to dislike me for looking desperate. Should I wait a while and ask again, or just leave him alone?
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (8 September 2008):
 Hi,
the age gap isnt that severe. However he may think he will have to do the pubs/clubs haging out with young people thing and decided he's a bit old for it. I'm only guessing here of course, it may be something entirely different.
But don't ask him again, you have already put yourself out there and you don't want another knock back.
Also, don't put your life on hold for him in the expectation he may change his mind, he may have a whole pile of emotional baggage which is preventing him from forming a new relationship and he just doesnt want to get you involved.
Only time will tell, but if you feel it is hard for you to move on you most likely will have to get a new tutor.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008): If i were you i would give him some time to think about what he wants because he said no doesent mean that he doesnt like you he just might not be ready to settle down just yet so i would give him some time and then ask again when you feel the time might be right
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