A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for a few months (soon to others, maybe) but he has not initiated sex, and when I have, his excuse one time was he forgot the protection? does he like me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): That is very problematic. And it's not normal. Take it very seriously. Cause you may end up getting hurt. And it's going to mess with your self esteem that your own bf won't have sex and can't even be HONEST with you and give you a reason why, and instead looks for excuses. That is not nice. At least if he were understanding of your want for sex (which is totally natural) and told you why he couldn't. But excuses? He is hiding something from you. Not only that, why would you want to be treated like that? He is being selfish and insensitive to ur feelings..
Anyways I think that he is gay. Or he has some issue with sex. But probably he is gay.
Trust me. Someone very close to me (don't want to say who), got married to a guy who never wanted to have sex. She wasn't that sexual so she did not think much about it. A year after their marriage (which she claims they might have had sex once or twice in the entire year), she caught him in bed with another MAN! She's a writer. I read some of the poetry she wrote after the experience. Trust me. You don't want to go there. That is the ultimate betrayal. Two in one. It doesn't get much worse.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): Well well.... I dont think this had anything to do with whether he is into you or not. If he isn't, he wouldn't be with you. I had the same thig happen to me. Few reasons for this behavior could be: he thinks too highly of you (maybe that your too good for him, too pretty for him), maybe your different that what he is used too, maybe he is unexperienced, maybe he is shy when it comes to that.... With me (it is so funny to me now) but we didn't have sex for few months and one day i finnaly asked and it turned out to be that i was very unique, different from what he had before me. He was also shy and maybe little insecure. After we tlaked, it helped.... maybe you should do the same..Hope this helps you, have fun your first time with him :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): Well i wouldn't see this as a reason for not liking you he just doesn't want to have sex yet,so whats the problem? A relationship isn't just about sex if he doesn't want to yet you should respect that and make sure he know he can tell you that without having to make excuses. maybe he just wants to spend time getting to know you better first. I would sit down with him and ask him is there any particular reason you don't want to have sex with me or is it just you aren't ready yet? Make him know that you would like to do it with him but there is no pressure! gd luck!
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A
female
reader, hit-the-road,jack...  +, writes (12 August 2007):
the easy way to find out is to make a sitatuion where there are no excuses, like you have the protection you're home alone and there's not likely to be anyone interrupting soon.
but if you do that yeah he might feel well trapped in the sitation.
why don't you just talk to him?
he might be like shy or scared
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): Hi, there could be a few reasons! Ok so maybe he is not that into you or maybe he is insecure about having sex! Some guys have huge hangups about sex especially if they are not very experienced. The only way to find out is by talking to him about this. Be gentle because it might be embarrassing for him. And if it is a case that he doesn't like you as much as you hoped then at least you will know now and can get out there and find a guy who is crazy about you.
Good luck, try talking to him and I hope you get the answers you need xx
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