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female
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anonymous
writes: Write me 'n' my boyfriend have been going out 6 months now and were really nice to each other but he will never be affectionate in front of his friends he is never with me and we hardly get to see each other i don't know what to do because he has admited he has feelings still for his ex but he loves me more i dont know whether i should dump him or npt please help
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (11 September 2006):
 It seems to me that he is still holding on to hope that he and his ex could get back together. He doesn't want to get to attached to you or have you get to attached to him so it will be an easy break if he did get back with her. There's a lot of baggage there and you have to weigh out if you are willing to wait and let him get through it or walk away. This could ignite something inside of him to try harder with you. Either way its up to you to decide if its worth it and if you're willing to take that on. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, x-L-x +, writes (10 September 2006):
 your boyfriend seems slightly immature...he doesnt appreciate what having a girlfriend involves, he should be treating you with respect and not ignoring you or behaving differently around other people. if you dont feel comfortable you need to let him know, tell him how you feel instead of making any rash decisions, if he cares about you as much as you say then your problems should be able to be overcome. good luck x x
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A
female
reader, sugapuff  +, writes (10 September 2006):
 if your not happy in a relationship or not getting what you want or need from someone youve got some questions to ask yourself!
are these problems or issues changeable can they be worked on and sorted out but keep in mind people only change if they really want to if hes always been this way with you chances are that wont change but give him the chance to change.
if hes still holding feelings for his ex can his heart really be in this relationship?ive made the ,mistake of going out with people before i was over some1 else none of these relationships lasted and ive always regretted hurting the people!
he says he loves you more but actions speak louder than words talk is cheap
only you can decide for sure how much he shows this love.
relationships are not all happyness and joy but your talking about a constant behaviour over 6months thats making you unhappy!
basically nobody changes for anyone but themselves ask yourself are u with him 4 him or because you secretly hope youl b able to change him?
and above all u deserve to be happy!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2006): First of all, what is he basing his love on? Is it just a word to describe that he's together with you intimately? I don't know, seems like a LOT of people today is using 'love' too loosely. I don't think a lot of people actually know what love really is and mistake it as liking someone or being together with someone.
Second, there are quite a few problems here, you've stated them all already. No one here should tell you what you should or should not do. You already have an idea. Just go for your gut instincts. He still has a lot of emotional baggage, and he isn't giving you what you desire in a relationship. Anyone can be nice to anyone - heck, I'm nice to almost everyone in my circle of friendships, but being 'nice' in an intimate relationship is only an overall portion. It's a given.
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