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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: dear cupid,i have been in a long term relationship since i was 19 years old.i had jus finished school and he was finishing up a course at college and we met working in a summer job.i then started an intensive college degree which i am finishing soon and i qualify very soon.we have been together throughout my 5 years in college.it seems to have gone by in a flash.suddenly i dont know where we stand.he has decided to go travelling the world for a year while i finish up school.and when he comes back he hopes we get bac together.i feel we want differant things in life, he does not know what to do with his life yet i am on a clear path.i dont know if hes right for me anymore,is the fact the he is willing to leave me for a whole year indicative that our relationship is not what i though it is?we planned to go on a trip together before he left.or should i just end it now so as not to prolong the pain? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): I'm not going to lie to you , it is very painful-there were times when he was away that i cried myself to sleep cos i missed him so much. He would email me and it would make me feel even worse. Things aren't much better now, his home and we're both showing the signs that we're still in to each other, its a long story but neither of us have made a move yet, just keep tiptoeing round one another.
Yep don't feel guilty about the anger either . You think, how come you think you can just drop me so you can go off on your big adventure while I stay at home expected to carry on as normal. I felt completely the same and it's totally normal. Just try and carry on and let him see just what he has left behind. Good luck with it all hun. x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): hi this is the poster of the message.i am actually a girl couldnt get it to change so deactivated account and will set up another,thank you all for your advice.
we actually have decided to break up at the end of the trip before he goes. i thought i was ok with this,but just feel it is unfair on me.im a little upset and angry over this,its ok for him he can go on his big adventure while i have to just go home and face a really tough year.
i think he expects me to be waiting for him when he gets back.maybe i will be.but im thinking right now that it will be a very confusing time.its hard to stay in love with someone when they are at the other side of the world.
i see a lot of pain in our near and maybe distant future
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female
reader, spanglegirl  +, writes (17 May 2008):
 This is difficult but i know how you feel because i and also a friend of mine have been in this situation. My boyfriend split up with me then a few weeks later told me he was going travelling, i think this is why we broke up as he suggested to his friend that he should split up with his girlfriend aswell. It was awful and i was really upset but i can see that it was probably for the best.
You could try and stay together but you will end up torturing yourself wondering what he is getting up to while your not there-you will go through the whole year worried that he has been unfaithful-that is exactly what my friend done. But at the same time you can't stop him from going, you both want different things at this stage in your lives and if he doesn't go he will just end up resenting you for stopping him going. I think the best thing to do is to sit down and talk about how you both feel and maybe split for the year-then see how you both feel when he gets back. The time apart might make you realise just how much you mean to each other.
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female
reader, c0nfus3d  +, writes (17 May 2008):
i dont think it means he doesnt want to be with you. i desperately want to travel for at least a year but i'm madly in love with my boyfriend. i dont want him to think that i'm abandoning him but i know that it's something that i need to do in my life to make it worth something. i think that it's in my life path and may be in his as well. he may come back even more amazing as he was before so don't be let down
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female
reader, lexilou +, writes (17 May 2008):
 It could be that he is so confident of your relationship he believes it will stand this test. Dont end it just because he is leaving, you may find when he returns he has a clearer path mapped out in his head and he will grow as a person. He is right to do this now as he will regret it and blame you in the future for not being allowed to live his life. Have your trip together and just take it one day at a time x
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