A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello I am having a hard time figuring out what is going on with a guy I have been getting to know over the past 5 months. We met through an online dating site, and we live a few hours away from one another, so we don't see each other very often, but we have both visited each others' cities, met each others' friends, been out on dates together, only made out once but haven't slept together yet or anything, spent A LOT of time talking on the phone and things like that. The thing that is bothering me is that about a month ago his ex girlfriend began trying to contact him again after being apart for almost a year. She tried to sleep with his friend, so he broke up with her and was really upset about it, had counseling, etc. but he had not had contact with her in a long time and he changed his number to keep her from contacting him. I went to visit him a few weeks back and everything was great. We had a wonderful weekend together and everything seemed to be going fine, but after I came back I guess she had got his number somehow and started texting him saying how sorry she is and stuff. He was obviously upset and annoyed by her doing this, but she lives across the country and they don't see each other, so I wasn't that worried about it. Well now (the past 2 weeks or so) he has not been calling me as much, and when we do talk it's not as long as before. He goes for days without returning my calls, and the past couple of times we have talked he seems very distracted, but this could be because of work and school as well. I'm not really sure what to do now, he told me before that he didn't want anything to do with her anymore and he just ignores her calls, but I don't see why else he would suddenly start acting so different after she was contacting him. We are not committed in a relationship, but I really like him a lot and it seemed that we were slowly working toward something like that. When we first met, we discussed what we want in a relationship and both expressed the desire for something like that. I feel like he is either upset and trying to keep me out of it, or trying to break things off with me. I just don't know. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses,I talked to him the other day and he apologized for "being distant lately" without me saying anything, so I know he realizes he has been acting differently. He said that he had been really busy with school work and he had been sick, so maybe this is part of it, but I still get the feeling that there is some confusion on his part with his ex trying to talk to him again. I guess I will continue to see how things go because I really like him a lot, but I am also keeping in mind that he has to make a choice and it may not be me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): Well sorry to say, but it sounds like heMay be losing interest. If he was trying to keepYou out of the situation, he wouldn't slow downHim contact with you. As hard as it may be, you mayNeed to prepare to play it cool and let him take the lead.I wouldn't want a guy that was still connected with an ex.Who know's if he is talking to her, he might realize thatShe is up to the same tricks and be done with her and renewYour relationship. Good luck!
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