A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I was going out with a really great guy for nearly a year. He has been going through a lot of problems recently and dipped into a depression. He told me that he loves me deeply. But now he wants us to break up. He talks of how he has become a bad person and how he must be alone to work out his issues. I have tried to contact him (against his wishes) because I am very concerned for him. But he just ignores or avoids me. I think that he is trying to prevent me from seeing who he has become in his depression.I know now that I should give him space and time to focus on healing himself and getting his life together. But I still have hope that he and I can get back together. I believe in him and I believe in us. I'm not putting my life on hold, but I do have hope.Is it wrong to hold out hope?And for those of you who have gotten back together after break-ups, how did it happen?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2005): You're right that you should leave him alone. If he really does love you, it's not wrong to hold out hope. Understand that you might never get him back. But then again, you might.
The important thing right now is to let him have his space. He's probably right that he can't deal with these issues with you around. Once he has them under control, you can be sure he will come looking for you if his feelings for you are real. Whether you're still itnerested at that time is really up to you.
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