A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm super confused with my relationship. My boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years and its been an up and down relationship. He cheated on me with another girl and it took awhile to get over that but i finally have and she is no longer in the picture. But just recently my boyfriend has been talking to his ex. He goes to college and works a full time job so i basically only get to see him on the weekends and we can't really talk during the week because he gets up at 7 goes to class dont get home til around 1 then has to be at work (which is 1/2 hr away) at 2:30-11 at nite. But although we barely have time to talk, he always finds time to talk to her and its not just texting, they talk on the phone quite often and this really upsets me. I'm also very confused because he still stays every weekend with me and he tells me he loves me and we both really want to have a baby and he talks about it quite often, but on the other hand i'd be incredibly stupid to bring a baby into this kind of relationship. It just hurts because a baby is what i'v wanted for so long and i know he'd be a good father because hes so good with kids, but he doesnt realize how his actions affect me. He says they're just friends and i shouldn't worry because she lives over two hours away and that he loves me but i can't help but to stress out and worry. Im scared to get cheated on again and if a baby does come into our lives i can't stand to see my child with one of his girl "friends".
View related questions:
at work, cheated on me, his ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): I think that there is no reason why he should be interacting with his EX. If they were like LONG time friends or grew up together and were really close and had a relationship that didn't work out...ok maybe I could see they have more of a friendship history then as a couple but if that is not the case then there is no reason for the relationship especially if it makes you uncomfortable!! I say you put your foot down and turn it around on him... how would he feel if you started to develop a relationship with your EX? it is all about RESPECT!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 March 2011):
 Your right it wouldnt be fair to bring a child in to this so please dont go falling pregnant until you have both sorted this. Whats happening here is you forgave him for cheating on you, but now that he is talking to another girl it is putting doubts in your mind and making you feel uneasy. He has told you she is only a friend therefore if you are unable to trust him on his word well then hunny there is really no point to this relationship. It will make you unhappy, at the end of the day trust is what glues a relationship together, and your trust has been dmamged.
He is intitled to have female friends just like you are intitled to have male friends just because you are both in a relationship doesnt mean that you both dont have the right to lead seperate lives as well. If it anoys you that he doesnt contact you through the week, then talk to him and ask him why, but hunny at least he spends each weekend with you this must show that he wants to be with you. So what if he rings this other girl, at least he is being honest with you and he is free to be friends with who ever he likes.
As for bringing a child in to this, its an awful idea, first off i am assuming you are both not living together as you only see him at the weekends, well in that case the child would only get to see him at the weekends as well. This would put mega pressure on you as you would be doing all the work through the week and also at weekends you wouldnt get to spend quality time with him because he will be putting all of his attention on the baby. Also if he wanted to take the child to see one of his friends he has the right to do that just as much as you, and you saying that it would drive you mad, shows me that you are both just not ready to become parents at the moment. Dont rush in to anything, just take your time to think things through and ask yourself can your relationship be fixed. You need to make sure you are in a happy and stable relationship before you even think of having a child. Also you need to make sure you have a good home for the child and can financially support him/her. Goodluck.
...............................
|
