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He's 34 and prefers teen porn sites instead of me...what should I do?

Tagged as: Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 July 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 17 November 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

My partner and I have been together for nearly 2 years and have lived together for the past 6 months. Every time I am out or at work he is on the internet porn sites, he's 34 and many of the sites he visits are teen sex. I have asked him about this and he doesn't think there is a problem, I feel really uncomfortable about it and rejected in a way - our sex life is not what it used to be and he does reject my advances sometimes. Please help!!

View related questions: at work, porn, sex life, the internet

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007):

I am 34 and also have a passion for these teen porn films as well as most other generes. Men have needs which women find hard to understand, It is caused by chemicals created in our testicles. I see it as therepy. My girlfriend does not share my enthusiasim

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007):

i am going through same thing in my case i do think teen porn is sick, i've never had the discussion with my husband but yeaterday i found a teen sex mag in his room long story, have taken it home with me and i will throw it at him later. what man gets pleasure from lookin at a silly wee lassie that doesnt even have a adult body, he rejects me in bed most of the time and i dont like i excite him either although he is the one that wont do anything out of the norm, im fummin, i would never dream of looking at young lad

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006):

I have just found out my partner of 12 years and father of my son has the same obsession. If I knew then what i know now i would not have continued the relaionship. The pain now is so much greater combined with having an 8 year old son to complicate the decision that now needs to be made. I send my love and support to you and to assure you that you are not alone and yet it is a lonely and scary place to be in making that decision.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2006):

He's a creep...what woman wants a man who gets off on naked pictures of other women???

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (26 July 2006):

Wendyg agony auntThe thing is the porn generally has no bearing on the guys girlfreind. Guys look at porn regardless of what sort it is and dont care if we think its crass or not the done thing. Not all men look at it, but alot do and you only have to look on this site under the porngraphy section to see that. Now a man just sees porn as an outlet and uses it as exactly that, generally at times when they are on thier own and need a quick fix, it doesnt mean they love you any less, just means at that time he wanted to have a quick release and move on to the next shiny thing. Its like flicking through a shoe catalogue to us woman, men look at it like it close it. If your man is looking at porn and not paying you attention then challenge him, but more over than not men just look at it for something to do or simply because they can! They are only images on a screen and in general the man is not in any way comparing these women to his girl, more the opposite, men wouldnt really want there girls to be like that and are safe in the knowledge that you arent, to them its just something else to look at, they treat it simply and it doesnt really have any baring in life, yes its silly that they do it and we women get upset by it. It probably has nothing to do with your relationship and your probably looking for the fact thatyour not having as much sex because you know hes looking at porn. talk it over with him, tell him it concerns you and ask why he does he? Maybe you might get a greater understanding of why men do it, and this might help with the hurt, im sure if he sees your that hurt by it, he will stop, or what normally happens is that they hide it better! I wouldnt worry too much unless it is affecting your relationship but do talk to him try and understand why he does it, and well if all else fails join him or find some of your own. It does feel like he is hurting you but unless you tell him this how is he going to know ? Remember though over time our sex lives to diminish slightly and it might not be anything to do with the porn, thats a seperate thing and men can serperate the two quite easily, its us woman that cant. Have a chat rather than sitting feeling rejected, maybe he you understand that its an entirely diffirent thing to your relationship and thats how he is chooses to express himself and explore, men need stimuli, they are not like us they need to explore and extend thier curiosity. Have that chat and you may feel a little different about it.

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A female reader, tacobell5 +, writes (26 July 2006):

the thing is...guys will tell you that that's completely normal and harmless. "every guy does it." etc. the thing is, not every guy does it, and i think it's extremely disrespectful if you're in a relationship. i see no need to "get off" to other people other than your partner. if you're in a relationship with someone that you love, and they are upset by the fact that you are watching porn, it seems so simple just so say "i'll quit for you if it means that much to you." if he won't, that's messed up.

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A female reader, jaybird +, writes (26 July 2006):

There is no doubt in mind that this man needs help.A little porn can be accepted but teen porn is just sick at his age. You have to have a serious chat with this man...Put your foot down and make him make a choice. This is no life for you, he is disrespecting you in every way. A man should make you feel special not worthless. If that does not work and you really love him then i can only suggest that you shave your bits and put bunches in your hair.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2006):

If you feel uncomfortable, then there is a problem. Don't let him invalidate your feelings. Stand up for yourself and dump him. Think of if you had children with him, and he was still doing this! You deserve better.

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