A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi i really need advice on this,i feel so confused.. I recently met my best friend's cousin and i knew the minute i saw him that i liked him,i feel so attracted to himIt's like nothing i have ever experienced.. The problem is he is 18!! A Also i am 100% sure my friend will hate me for this.. We live in a very close-minded society.. But i really want to go through with this,and he seems willing to.. It feels right yet at the same time wrong..
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 June 2014):
 well 18 is legally an adult so there's no issue there.
if you are 25 then you are 7 years older than he is and at 18/25 that's a biggie.... now at 25/32 it's not so bad.
would your friend be upset because it's her cousin or his age?
see I think age is all relative... nowhere in the rules does it say the man HAS to be older than the woman.
BUT dating a friend's cousin could be the issue.
also it depends on what you want... fun and games with a boy toy... go for it.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (28 June 2014):
Dear OP,
Nobody will give you a medal at the end of your life: "Hey, this is your award for always doing what your friends and family expected you to do". Nobody is going to say "thank you, dear, for sacrificing your happiness because of my closed-mindedness".
Of course, you can still tip-toe around everybody, your whole life, wondering if maybe someone gets jealous if you are too happy, too beautiful, too smart.. if you offend other people by just being yourself..
You can decide if this guy is worth the possible drama, you can try to understand your best friend and her feelings.
But anyway, don't make a habit out of stepping back from your dreams and wishes and desires, because somebody else might not like it. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (28 June 2014):
 The fact you say he is only 18 with an exclamation mark suggest you are at the upper end of the age range 22-25?
If you are 24/25 then realistically you are likely to be at a different level of experience and have a very different out look to someone of 18. I am all for age gap relationships but when one is 18 and the other, say, 25 the gap is likely to show a lot more. You are pretty much a grown woman, and adult. Whereas he is barely out of his childhood and still a teen. What you want from a relationship is likely to be different from what he would want from a partner and relationship. It could work but the fact you draw attention to his age in your post in the way you do suggests you feel he is too young?
From a moral/legal point of view there is nothing wrong in having a relationship, but if you are a few years apart at that age it will likely really show.
If your gut tells you a relationship, or potential relationship is wrong then I would trust your gut instincts. You say your best friend will hate you for it? Is it worth loosing your best friend over this guy when the chances are it wont last long bearing in mind he is so young?
Mark
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 June 2014):
 Personally, I wouldn't go there.
For two reasons, you said it yourself *it feels right, but yet wrong" so something is making YOU feel that it is a "little" wrong.
Second reason is that you think your friend will "hate" you for it.
BUT if you think he could be someone for you, you someone for him. TALK to your friend.
Don't go sneaking around.
I have to say though... the age difference is no big deal here. No one would bat an eyelash if you were the younger and he the older, so why should this combo be offensive?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 June 2014):
 If you are willing to risk losing your best friend then go for it. But as the owl said don't sneak around be up front about it. What have you got to lose except according to you maybe your best friend?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2014): You're only between 4-6 years older. It's apparently just a fling. He's 18, and at the age of legal consent.
It's nobody's business. If you want to see him and he wants to see you, go for it. It's not like you're some kind of pervert chasing under-aged children. I was the same age he was when I lost my virginity to a lady of 23. I'm gay, but my first sexual experiences were with females. NO, it wasn't that awful! It was just fine! I just preferred men instead.
Be careful with his feelings. He could grow very attached to you. Make sure if things become sexual, that you use condoms and practice safe-sex.
You're the older wiser one. Teach him how to treat a lady, and how to keep himself safe when being sexually-active.
Don't teach him that he has to sneak around doing things like he's some sort of criminal. If you want to date him, do it out in the open. If you stir up gossip, so what?
It would be worse, if you get busted by your best friend.
That would jeopardize your friendship; because you couldn't be honest, and had to be sneaky about it.
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