Help.....Why???

A female age , *ueeny63 writes:

Hi...after 3 years of dating, I feel lost. I don't exactly know what I want from my ex who broke up with me a month ago. This was so sudden that I am so hurt. We have had problems, but I have been the one trying to cater to his ego. He is a very closed person, and when he is upset at the world, he shuts down, doesn't answer the phone until he decides to. We are both in our 40's I find that very childish, I am an open person who likes to keep things open and I always wanted our relationship be one of love and trust. We both are divorced, I have a child and he has one from his exwife who is 22yrs and another one from a former girlfriend who is 3...(thats a totally other story) but I worked or tried to work through it. My guy works very hard and lives in another state and he commutes everyday. He is a hard worker and his job is dangerous. I always admired him and prayed to God to take care of him. Within the past 3 years, he has made me doubt his love, he started to open up and I loved it. But then he cheated on me with the ex girlfriend..that devestated me I received a tearful apology but the trust was broken he never gave me why and where, he says he was very sorry, the trust ended there, but we tried, I caterd to him, he would do things that would upset me and he knew it but we would not talk but eventually he would call. I like to cuddle and he said thats something that he never did with anyone, so he tried, but not enough. I am a very sensitive and I believe in love, he started spending more time here with me. Ayear ago I became pregnant, he was a little upset, I was scared and shocked and left in God's hands, after going to the doctor, there was no heartbeat, I was so sad, but he wasn't there for me. He said he didn't know what to say, cause financially it was bad timing, that hurt me to the core. I had to wait or go to the hospital to get a d and c on a cold icy morning by myself in a taxi. I was so upset at him that he didn't come down, even though I told him I did not want to see him. I cried in the room, but thank God my best friend was there when I awoke, and we cried together. I spoke to him later on that evening and he said he was scared to call me. A big man scared!! Anyway, little things started upsetting me, he couldn't go on vacation with me, but found it ok to go spend 2 weeks in Va and Maryland with friends that we know. I couldn't go because of my daughter and I work!!! he thought it was perfectly fine in packing and leaving. I would hear from him whenever he decided to call, of course he got sick. He suffers from stomach ailments. But after he came back we spoke. Throughout these 3 years although he makes good money, with the alimony child support mortgage, etc..things were tough for him, but I understood cause I loved him. I wanted to take care of him, well 5 weeks ago tragedy hit his family, his brother died on a Tuesday unexpectedly and on that Friday his father passed. It was a shock to everyone. He came down from Pa, I was there to support him. We went to get his suits, we were fine. That evening at his sister's house he acted funny her ex who he dislikes said goodbye and gave everyone a good bye hug and kiss its custom. My guy flips out on me. He told the guy to stay away from me or else. I have always respected my man. I don't believe in cheating. He does have a jealous streak but I never made him ever doubt me. Well he went outside I then followed him to see if he was ok, he flipped out on me, saying that I liked this guy, and that I disrespected him in front of the family. Not true! He sent me home like a child. I said no, it was not his house. I went the nwxt day to the wake, I ignored him, because he was cruel to me, but I paid my respects and sat next to his mother. Well he then says I was flirting with everyone there, that he saw me, and how many numbers did I get. I ignored him. At the burial we I was there he was thankful, then he started acting up at the luncheon, he says i was flirting. I was accused of so many things I left. Didn't hear from hear in 2 weeks, he said he couldn't be with a woman who flaunts herself, and what I do down here when he is at work how can he trust me..GO FIGURE!!! He broke it off saying he never wanted to hear from me. He said horrible things to his family about me, and they believed him...I've left 4 messages but I am on his do not call list..I know cause thats what he does when he is upset. I want an apology. I did tell him a few things that would of upset and hurt his ego, but he said terrible and lies about me. His sister came by brielfy to drop a few things over and told me that she would appreciate me to respect the family's grieving period and not to bother her brother with my calls. Am I wrong? We are adults. How can he say loves me and then turn on me in an hour over something that I did not do!!!I am no flirt!!! I feel insulted, now I have been badmouthed to the family who opened their arms to me and my daughter. I pray to God to soften his heart, we spoke daily and I hope he realized that not many people would take his personality, and be so forgiving. I hate him and still care. I guess my ego is shattered. I will not call him again. But I feel so hurt and lost!!! Help

View related questions: at work, best friend, broke up, cheated on me, divorce, ex girlfriend, ex-wife, flirt, her ex, his ex, jealous, money, my ex, period

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