A
female
age
36-40,
*abygirl316
writes:Hello I'm in a little bit of bind and if someone could help me I would grealty appriciate it! Here is my situation..... I have 2 children with my ex and a baby with my current boyfriend/fiance. My bf is a great guy but he only thinks of him self. Since i have gone back to work recently he just started taking the baby when I go to work. He doesn't take the other two because they're to much for him to handle and not really his respondsibility. I work the evening shift so I don't get home till almost 12AM so he's always sleeping. He wants me to spend time with him but I only have 2 days off and would like to rest and be with the kids. We have always fought(yelled and screamed) at eachother! Over the stupidest things!! He gets mad and leaves in the car driving like an animal! He will eventually come back and try to make things better. Also I can never be mad at anything if I'm mad then he just gets mad back and then I try to fix everything so he's not mad. I'm tired of trying to fix things and make them perfect so he doesn't get mad. This whole thing has been going on for 3 years and I'm finally realizing that I'm not going to make everything better all the time. I also have figured out that I need and want to do things for me like go out with friends and thing but he's ALWAYS there. I can never do anything by myself and if I do he thinks I'm cheating on him!! I want to find myself but I feel like I can't cause he's weighing me down! Please help!!
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female
reader, jerseygrl7 +, writes (22 September 2008):
i am 22 years old,. i have a 7month old with my boyfriend of 5 years. i am torn in what to do cause i dont want to break up my family but i feel like i cant do this anymore. here is why, my boyfriend is very controlling and thinks that i am cheating on him. i barely go out cause i am at home with the baby and even before the baby i barely went out. he goes out whenever he wants though, and he takes my money from me cause he says i owe him from when i wasnt working., keep in mind i was pregnant and watching a brother that had a stroke and going through a recovery. just yesterday he told me that he did cheat on me and that he doesnt want this to work.. i dont know if this was anger. today he called and said he cant help the way hes thinking. so here i am sitting back and taking all of us while i DID NOT cheat on him. i have nowhere to go i have a baby, no money. and i never thought id have to break up my new family. any advice?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): Time to look at where you want to be in life and who with..be true to yourself and you will find the answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): Oh babe, this sounds like an awful situation and it's totally not fair on you as you say, you work long hours. You CAN'T just live life the way it suits him as it isnt fair on you, you're allowed to be mad and have your own emotions whether he likes it or not. He seems controllive over you also, could you not spend time with him and the kids together? So that both of you win, for example going to the park or something for a picnic so the kids can then play and then you can chill and chat with your man and maybe discuss these problems? As for his lack of trust, you need to make it clear to him that you're not cheating on him you just need your own time, and if he can't accept that then i'm sorry hun but you've gotta leave him as he is controlling you too much and being totally unfair on you
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