A
female
age
30-35,
*aper_Jean_Girl_
writes:My bf broke up with me about two months ago, he said that he thinks we are just better off as friends. He recently starting talking to me again and told me that he still really wants to be my friend and so we started hanging out more. Last time i saw him we became initmate, and he was acting very intimate. Does it mean that maybe he is starting to want me back? Or am i just a fool?----My fwb for about two months has been acting more intimate with me lately. During intercourse he will hold my hand and sometimes we will fall asleep with him holding my hand. Does it mean anything?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): "Does it mean that maybe he is starting to want me back?" No, it means he likes being intimate with you because he knows he can, to him you're easy that way and old habits die hard.
"Does it mean anything?" No, OP friends with benefits means anything goes, it just means he's more comfortable being more affectionate with you.
OP in both situations these guys are taking what they can get and you're giving it's as simple as that. The key here is that nothing has been said. You see OP we guys are fairly simple to figure out when you know what you yourself want but we will gladly take what you give us without demanding anything in return.
You need to figure out what you want OP. If you want your ex back then you need to tell him. If he only wants to be friends then you must act like friends and not get intimate. If your feelings for him are still too strong and you keep getting intimate against your better judgement, or he keeps trying it on then you have to break ties with him for a while because friendship is not possible in those circumstances.
If on the other hand you want to give it a go with your fwb then you must have the talk with him and discuss what you want. If he doesn't want the same thing as you then again you have to cut him off because it will just lead to heart break for you.
If you don't want either of them and just want fool around with them both then say nothing at all, don't worry about what all the little "intimate" signs mean and just deal with whatever happens as it arises.
You have 3 choices there OP, just make one of them based on what you want. Stop trying to read into little signs. Forgive me for being coarse here but most guys will go as far with you as you let them. I've heard girls cry and moan about being used by guys when they just sat back and never said anything, instead they tried to read into every little "sign".
The only way you're going to know with these guys is by asking them to commit. Simple really, if a guy really does want to be with you romantically then they'll make the effort and say yes. Any other answer especially things like "I don't want a relationship right now." "I'm not ready." they're all "no's" but are designed to keep your legs open.
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