A
female
age
30-35,
*oreverlove
writes:Help! I've just been told that I am amazingly stubborn and will fight my corner if I see someone I don't like or have had a big argument with. I know what they mean by this I do get very protective of myself when I see one of my ex's who I had a very big argument with. I get really agressive and start to shake and my breathing goes really heavy and fast. I know I do this and I can't get out of the habbit.Also little things make me jump and I spook really easily. I do find it very very hard to trust people and I was wondering if this is a sign of this! I hate being protective of myself and I really want to relax. Frinds have picked up on this and I find it very hard to walk past people I don't like normally. I think im scared that an argument like the past would happen again. Someone please give me help on how to relax and to get over this strange trust issue please. I know I do it but I don't know how to stop it. Please help
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female
reader, sammi star +, writes (5 November 2010):
 This isn't being stubborn, what you're describing is anger and anxiety. It's natural to be protective of yourself and your feelings, some people more so than others due to bad experiences but I think what you need to learn is how to get over things and not hold a grudge for so long. That doesn't mean you suddenly have to befriend or forgive the people you don't like but you do need to let go of the anger you feel towards them as it's a complete waste of your energy. If you really want to protect yourself then it's something you need to do because holding onto it will only hurt you in the long run.
You are young still and emotions and hormones run high at your age so you may find a lot of these problems sort themselves out as you mature but if it becomes too much of a problem then you may want to think about talking to your gp who will be able to offer you advice or refer you to somebody who can. Good luck
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