A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,Mine is not the most conventional sort of everyday relationship issues u deal with everyday but I really need your help as am going mad here.I started seeing this guy back in April this year, at first when he asked me out, I turned him down because I was aware that he had another woman whom he was in a relationship with and had been for 4 years, but she lives in another country and they see on average twice a year.I didn’t want to go out with him because of this, but he along with his brother convinced me that the relationship with the other woman wasn’t an issue and that he’d leave her for me if I gave him what he wanted.I even met this guy’s mum, who advised me to get pregnant so he could marry me and said her son loved me.We had a very loving relationship and he was always there when I needed him, except for the fact that he still spoke with this other woman everyday.However, this other woman came into town 3 months ago, and when I found out she was around, I went round to his house and she was there with him, we ended up having a rather ugly confrontation and I walked away.Since then, his mum who usually calls me hasn’t called me, neither has any other members of his family whom I used to speak with, everyone seems to be backing this other woman, even though they told me they hated her and wanted me to marry their sibling.The problem now is that I can’t get over this guy, I still love him very much but am never going to settle for sharing him, I get the feeling he loves me as well, but there’s been so many lies and though he claims it was all to protect my feelings, I don’t know what to believe.I ran into him the other day and he still calls like twice a week, but I can’t handle talking to him without getting angry or blurting out my feelings for him, so I just don’t answer his calls.To make matters worse, I recently found out that I was pregnant, but suffered a miscarriage due to the stress of the break-up, I haven’t told him about the pregnancy or the miscarriage, even though I suspect he thinks am pregnant.My main problem is that this other woman has refused to leave the country, seems to me like she’s willing to give up her life and everything just to make sure me and this guy can’t be together, also I feel he’s partly with her because of the long history they have as he tells me he’ll never leave me for her if he had to choose, but I walked away and he hasn’t come after me, its been over 6 weeks since the confrontation.Should I move on or wait in the hope that she will leave soon, and even if she does leave, how do I know she won’t come back anytime soon, am confused.Please help me, I can’t stop thinking about him and crying.
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (12 September 2009):
 ahhh sigh look your driving your self nuts while this guy is livin la vida loca with this other women you new this guy was bad news when you got with him but girls love bad guys, and women are so emotional the should make an ex bf patch like the nicotine patch but one that can help ween some one off there addiction to a terrible relationship,Love smudge leave this guy NOW say good by eat a bath tub of ice cream have some champagne and say good riddance, this man is taking complete advantage of you he may love you in some twisted way but its not healthy for you to be in a relationship like this,WALK AWAY!
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