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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hello there, I am an aunt here who never posts anonymously but tonight I'm feeling discouraged and cowardly I guess. Earlier this year, I had a short-lived text relationship that was innappropriate with a much younger man. It started off innocently on my part, but somewhere I allowed a boundary to be crossed. I take full responsibilty for the mistake I made... I realized what I was doing and that my husband was the most important person in the world to me and stopped it on my own. I felt that I needed accountability and told my husband. He was a sweetheart about it and forgave me... and has never brought it back up. I might add at this point a couple of extenuating factors... one I am menopausal and my hormones have kicked into overdrive... two his is waning, whether due to my actions or just a time in life I dont know. But he has gone from the guy who couldnt get enough to.... really never asking or indicating desire. He does touch me and pat around on me... but in the bedroom it stops. I on the other hand initiate it and he is always game. We have gone from a couple who both reached orgasm every time we had sex to either one or both struggling when we do have sex. That has never been a problem before. Vaginal sex was always wonderful and now it is awful!!! He can only climax thru oral sex... and I am pretty much the same. He doesnt make much effort honestly. I think he is struggling with what I was capable of and... I just dont know for sure what is going on in his head. We have talked but he has a lot of problem showing emotions... especially when he is hurt. We interact on the outside... to everyone around us like every thing is fine... and no one knows. Recently I have just quit initiating... and our sex life is non existant. I'm not sure if he is "punishing me" or if he is a bit repulsed at this point... or if this is how it will be. There is no possible way he is having an affair. I would stake my life on it. He is with someone all the time. And he has never given me any reason to suspect that at all... I am so sad and blue... I am depressed and I really dont know what to do to make this better. We have children. Neither of us want to give up on this... we love each other... but I know that we are both hurting. I am a nice size and take care of myself... I dress attractively, and wear sexy things to bed... It has been 5 months since i ended the texting and told him... Please men give me your feelings and women advise me about menopause as well as the situation. I really feel like I am losing it... my sanity that is....
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male
reader, briantqa  +, writes (3 January 2010):
 i'm not really sure how to say this but maybee you are in the same situation i am in,but there is no menopause i am 38 this jan 25th and she is 33 we have two kids and have been together 14 yrs ..yes this sucks,i never get any lovin hardly ever,she fondles me as she walks bye on occation but we hardly en dup in the the bed room .i know she is tierd from staying home with a 2 yr old boy while my dauhgter is 7 is at school. but the thing i cant figure out is i work all day installing hundereds of pounds ov carpet all day long and if she wanted to make love to me it she wouldnt have to ask me twice,but she doesnt anymore well not anymore but very very rarley.i am an attractive man. she is very sexy aswell i just dont know whats going on.what do you think we can do .i even give her a candle lit pathway to her bed every night for months but she just shows me nothing,i dont understand .i know there are millions of women looking for a man to be romanticand she has one but now what :(
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