A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I need to pour my heart out....I was with my ex for almost 3 years. I started law schol, and after a semester, she felt unhappy, unimportant, and uneeded, so she broke up with me. She started dating her best friend (for years) almost a week after, I was crushed. She and I talked on and off for the past 4 months since. A few times we would start talking and hanging out, talking about getting back together, we even hooked up a few times. All the while she was still dating her friend, a guy I knew. Finally I cut her off, realizing that It wasn't going anywhere, and he was still around. She told me to stop calling and texting, so I did. After a month of calling me weekly, I answered, we talked, and ended up hanging out again. I thought she was just playing me, so I told her. She got upset, she told me that she "thought" I had finally put her first and she had wanted to reconcile. My comments hurt her, so she withdrew. We started talking and hanging out again a few days later, everything seemd fixed. We were "just friends", but flirted, went to our old couple places, and never talked about her and this guy (almost four months at that point). We made plans to hang out this weekend, then a few hours later she texted me.... "We cant talk to each-other ever again, because I am in a relationship and like where its going and don't want to mess it up. I don't think we can be friends". I haven't responded, and won't. I know I need to just move on, so please don't remind me of that. I know today that the reason she said that is her friend and her finally became "official" rather than just dating. I hope this is a rebound, not for a second chance, but just to know that she can't just replace me with a guy after a week! I'm not super torn up about this, I have been slowly dealing with this for months, but it does take me down a notch for us to be in contact, and seemingly moving somewhere, and then have the rug pulled from under me, and for her to be in a relationship. I want her to be happy, but I secretly hope she isn't, not yet, not this fast. Can anyone give me some advice on how to "turn the corner" and get past this tough time?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): That's because you are not ready. Don't force it.
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