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female
,
anonymous
writes: im with this man for long 9 years and we have one son,our relation is not that bad only im hoping for him to marry me but he never did since he is married still in his wife.after long years i decided to separate thinking that i am hoping for nothing. we are now separated for almost 3 years and now i have my new boyfriend. but my ex boyfriend still hanging around and showing something to me to make me feel guilty and its killing me.hes acting nice to all of my friends and tell to them that hes still hoping that i will come back to him. i dont know why he just dont respect of what i decided. i dont want to hear anymore the line from my own mother that i am only a mistress this is hurting me.i waited so long to be his legal wife but he never do it for me or even only for the sake of our son.now i feel guilty all the time when i saw him and sometimes his telling me that i broke our family and i simply answer him' if we are family he will marry me and give our son a legal name.but he dont care of what i am saying all he cares is everything is my fault and then i will start to feel guilty.i dont know how to deal with this situation i now love my new boyfriend for nearly 2 years and i want peace of mind and soul. pls. anybody advice me the right way to deal with this situation. i love my new boyfriend now and i dont want any trouble.tnx.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (19 October 2006):
 What do you care what this adulterer says? Your part in the sordid affair is in the past so put the whole ugly thing behind you. You have moved on and now have a chance at decent future, don't blow it by having anything to do with your ex-lover except where your son is involved. You have custody of the son I assume, so allow him to see him but tell him that if he doesn't stop the other crap you'll give his wife a call and have a nice chat with her. Once the ex realizes you will never get back in the dead end relationship with him, he may give up and disappear out of your life for good. You can only hope. Good luck.
A
female
reader, xLEAHx  +, writes (19 October 2006):
 Hi there,
Firstly please do not feel guilty,its not your fault i totally understand where your coming from, the guy you gave best part of 9 years of your life too was not dedicated to you enough, to even get a divorce from his wife and marry you..he knew thats what you wanted more then anything to be his wife and live as a proper family..therfor you have met someone else that can give you that happiness..seems to me that his upset and angry that you have someone else in your life now and he is getting back at you by saying you have broke the family up..well my advise is..tell him straight 'You had your chance to make us a proper family and make me happy and you blew it'..he obviously thinks more of his wife then he ever did of you because he never took your feelings into consideration and what you wanted..dont dare feel guilty..just be happy with your new love and i hope the future will bring you happiness and what you have always wanted..
GOOD LUCK & TAKE CARE
xLEAHx
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