A
female
age
36-40,
*aleria-girl
writes:Hello that's my first time to ask online but I'm really upset and stressed.My story is long and will try to make It short. I'm in a long distance relation. He was my friend before becoming my bf but there was too much chemistry between us he was in relationship with a girl who was getting married because her dad won't accept my current bf as her husband but they remain in touch. It didn't bother me in the beginning but I get to know that she is still telling him that she loves him and all even when she got married. Later he told me that they stopped talking. We fought much cuz of his ex. So to make my story short as its much complicated. He loved his ex soo much cuz they were in relationship more than 6years and she loves him more. But they couldn't marry because of her dad.So last month I get to know that they are talking again and met sometimes and I got so upset cuz he didnt tell me and he said that she just asked for something because she is still in touch with his mom n family. And said he is sorry. But I got so angry and I deleted him on bbm after a week he called me saying that he knows his fault and he is sorry and that he stopped talking to her totally but then I asked him if she knows I'm his gf he said he didnt share that with her. I know she knows that there is something there between us but I was upset that he didn't tell her I'm his gf because he says he doesn't wanna hurt her feelings. So when he came back saying sorry I told him that he should tell her I'm his gf if he wants me to forgive him and give him another chance or else we are done. I told him to think and let me know. So its been 3days now we didn't talk and he didn't tell me his decision and its pissing me off that why he care about her feeling she is married anyway . So what do you people think about this and what should I do?
View related questions:
his ex, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, valeria-girl +, writes (14 May 2013):
valeria-girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd he was planing to visit me in august again , but now I don't know what's next I'm still waiting his decision but I guess I ll jst tell him tht I won't wait more and he should gv me his final answer . We are a bit far (9hrs by flight). We talked about marriage but that's another story.
A
female
reader, valeria-girl +, writes (13 May 2013):
valeria-girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for ur answers I appreciate it so just wanna add some infos
They can't marry even if she get divorced because of culture stuff both parents wouldn't agree and I don't really think she will get divorced because she is from a rich family who cares about levels n image if the family bla bla.
We started serious relation about 10 months ago cz before we wernt that serious as we broke up n make up about 3 times. He deleted her in his fb n all maybe to get over or maybe so she won't see me who knows ... Bt she was seeing me on his fb before she got married n fought with him once cz she found our msgs on his fb (I wasn't tht serious thtt time with him) tht was 1 year ago I guess. So as we get serious in relation n she got married , he came to visit me in my country for new year for 1 week n it was long complicated process as he has sm probs with visa but he ddnt gave up n make n came to me in new year. Everythgin was amazing big chemistry we got along faaast from the first minutes n we spend a good time except a call from her to his hotel room telling him tht his mom is worried that he didn't call her when he reaches my country, I was soo upset n he tried to comfort me n explain. I also got a msg from her from fb asking me to inform him when he reach because she wants to tell his mom n asking me to tell him that he should call his mom cz she is worried. I let go of this after when he went back to his country everythg was ok n he changed he becomes more good with me and said he loved me more nw. Everythg was ok till april when they sarted talking and this prob happens nw everythg is messed up n its hard to trust
...............................
A
female
reader, valeria-girl +, writes (13 May 2013):
valeria-girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for ur answers I appreciate it so just wanna add some infos
They can't marry even if she get divorced because of culture stuff both parents wouldn't agree and I don't really think she will get divorced because she is from a rich family who cares about levels n image if the family bla bla.
We started serious relation about 10 months ago cz before we wernt that serious as we broke up n make up about 3 times. He deleted her in his fb n all maybe to get over or maybe so she won't see me who knows ... Bt she was seeing me on his fb before she got married n fought with him once cz she found our msgs on his fb (I wasn't tht serious thtt time with him) tht was 1 year ago I guess. So as we get serious in relation n she got married , he came to visit me in my country for new year for 1 week n it was long complicated process as he has sm probs with visa but he ddnt gave up n make n came to me in new year. Everythgin was amazing big chemistry we got along faaast from the first minutes n we spend a good time except a call from her to his hotel room telling him tht his mom is worried that he didn't call her when he reaches my country, I was soo upset n he tried to comfort me n explain. I also got a msg from her from fb asking me to inform him when he reach because she wants to tell his mom n asking me to tell him that he should call his mom cz she is worried. I let go of this after when he went back to his country everythg was ok n he changed he becomes more good with me and said he loved me more nw. Everythg was ok till april when they sarted talking and this prob happens nw everythg is messed up n its hard to trust
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 May 2013):
 She loves him and he loves her. And he kept it from you because he knows he's doing wrong.
you are long distance. how far apart are you? how often do you see each other? what's the plan to close the distance?
You told him (wisely) that he should tell her you are the gf if you want him to forgive you. Yet he refuses to do so putting her feelings above yours.
Even if he tells her, if they are apart only because parents don't approve, he will probably end up like Charles and Camilla who were apart for very similar reasons.
If he wont' tell her, then he's made his choice of her over you and you should try to walk away with your dignity intact.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 May 2013):
 You should leave him for good. You are who he's settling with because he can't have the woman he really wants. He'll be in contact with her every chance he gets and if and when she becomes free, he'll drop you fast and go running to her.
You need someone who has no ex hangups whatsoever.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (13 May 2013):
The guy still loves her, and he's not able to get as close to you because you're in a long distance relationship. If you still want to be with him, you'll have to accept his feelings for her. Getting mad at him won't take them away. Getting closer to him will, so maybe you need to work on making this a no distance relationship.
...............................
|
