A
female
age
30-35,
*pplemac
writes:im going to try and explain my situation as well as i cani had been seeing someone for a year. for the first three months i did not even call him because i did not want to end up where i have now, fallen and heartbroken. he called me all the time and did things for me. slowly, even after fighting the feelings i began to fall for him and this time for all the right reasons. he called all the time, always explained himself, listening to me and promised to be good. we didnt talk about our feelings but i believe, like many other people, actions speak louder than words. we laughed together and cried together, he wiped my tears for me when no one else would have been there. i love him.a month ago i professed my feelings and got the most heartbreaking response i could not have honestly anticipated. he said that he doesnt need any one like that in his life. i accused him of leading me and then reconciled. i have alot of respect for him so i remained normal with him because i know like i reply on him he does me so i went to see him after this and he was touching me like before, showing signs of 'interest' and calling me by the nickname he gave me, though i stopped because i dont want to be so frank with him as i am not with all my other male friends. what is making my heart bleed is that he was always so good, his good friends and cousins called me his girlfriend. he never done me wrong till he said he didnt want me more than a 'close friend' which in a way he can do however i truly believe he lead me to believe he did want something more from em. also that he still rings me daily etc.i cannot talk to him anymore, it breaks my heart to talk to someone i wanted to share so much with about irrelevant trivial topics. though sometimes i put on a face and call him though i have not gone to see him after the one time after this.at first a part of me thought he will feel my distance and change his mind but i know that is very naive and he probably will not feel that he has lost anything. and if he does i doubt he will tell me maybe he wants to be with me now, as he denied any knowledge of acting in a misleading manner with me when i accused him of leading me on i dont know what to do? i see him weekly because of the means through which we metalso, if any guys could possibly tell me what might be going through his mind because he wont commit to me but he wont back off either...?hope these scattered thoughts and explanation make good sense. thank you so muchxxxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): Stop talking to him. Break all contact. If he wants you, he'll come back. If he does not, he's not worth it.
We very rarely are mistaken about someone's intentions. You are right - you feel he treats you specially but does not want to acknowledge it.
If, after some time, you are convinced that you can be in touch with him even if he is only a friend with no potential, you can approach him again. Friends understand if you drop out of sight sometimes. And then, he should have no priviliges that your other male friends don't have.
If not, take care of your sanity - you seem to be doing that already since you say you have not met him again, except once.
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