He wasn't interested in me having this baby...I don't know whether I should contact him now I've had the baby!!!

I was on a relationship with a man that was 14yrs older than me I feel pregnant while at uni we had a child together and lived together for about 1 yr. When my child was 6 months old he decided to go abroad to be a lawyer a month after I graduated. This made me very depressed and I spent two years isolated looking after my child alone. I went to counselling and in the end my counsellor advised me to make some new friends go back to uni and start a new relationship. I took her advice and went back to university and graduated in January. I was also in a relationship with a man for 1yr and 1/2 from 2004-05.Initally he was nice but there were momentswithin the relationship that was fiery, he would argue with me and call me names like bitch etc if we had an argument or he would start one over petty things. I tried to work things out with him on numerous occasions and explained to him that if he did not change I would leave him, he started crying told me loved me all the time and that he would die if he lost me or threaten to kill himself so he was prepared to change. He calmed down allot but there was the odd time when he would lose his temper. Towards the end of the relationship I broke up with him because we had an argument because I asked him to let himself in as I was not feeling well, and he was angry because I did not open the door for him the door was open but i was in pain. I was very upset by this and gave him the silent treatment, he could not understand why I was upset and grabbed me by the neck and shook me, I decided that was it and we ended it. At the time I did not realise I was pregnant I was on the pill and at university at the time. Once I had the pregnancy confirmed I told him about it he was not very supportive and told me it was not his baby and that I had slept with three men which was a lie. After a threatened miscarriage I persuaded him it was his. He told me he would speak to me later that day as he had back ache, I told him to F*** his back as this was our child I was talking about, he then told me to F*** off and refused to speak to me for sometime leaving me to deal with the threatened miscarriage. We spoke after I had counselling at the pregnancy advisory clinic, I decided that I wanted to keep my baby. He told me to do what was best for me and told me I should have asked him if I wanted a baby and that I got pregnant on purpose. I told him I only want him to support me he then told me I did it so I could get money from the government. I asked him if he saw me take the pill and he said yes, I also explained to him that I did not plan it and that the first person I will be coming to his him for money via the CSA he told me to get rid, I refused to and he told me he was married and if I did not get rid he would kill me and the baby and told me I would end up working in McDonalds. I continued with studying my MA at uni until I suffered from high blood pressure and had to intercalate and decided to keep my baby; I was also on anti-depressants and had to see a counsellor at uni. He decided to hound me and constantly threatened me so I informed a solicitor who wrote him a letter explaining that he would be in allot of trouble if he contacted me again, I did not have an injunction but he stopped calling. My baby is now 3 months old and I can not stop thinking about what happened and whether I should contact him about the baby, I have allot of guilt and feel that some of what happened was my fault and have an urge to contact him.

View related questions: broke up, depressed, money, the pill, university

Reply to this Question

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, Zoie  +, writes (13 November 2006):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer