A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I cant believe I am writing this, but I have really reached the bottom of the barrel. Its simple I started dating a guy that chased me for a very very very long time and he did everything write from the beginning. We dates for three monhts and the first two months were amaaaazing, i never knew i would love someone that much and i really felt it repricroated. He wouldnt let me leave his house, and we fell in love after only 2 weeks ! the third month he started getting really busy with his family business, and he stopped calling me as much and i would think that i would see him that night until to find out late at night that he was either tired or had client drinks. This went on for a whole month and i went from seeing almost every other day to seeing him once a week. Not only that - but he would act distant when i would see him and everyone would notice. We would also argue over the stupidest thing. I was sooo hurt and didnt know what to do - i would ask him whats wrong and he accused me of being paranoid and that hes so busy with work. I got scared and my pride got in the way so I called him and broke up with him. He stayed on the phone for hours he was trying to convince me out of it, but i wanted him to run after me more. Next day he called and asked to see me for one hour but i was a wreck and didnt want to but deep down i wanted to badly. One week later i got drunk and i had a nervous breakdown cuz i missed him so much showed up at his house crying and he wouldnt open the door saying that what i was doing was not normal. Its been two months now and i keep trying to see him and hes been so cold with me or wont even answer my calls. Did i make the right decision -cuz if he really loved me he would of come back to me? What should I do ? Should I keep trying? i cant focus on anything else, and hes in my mind 24 hours. I feel like i made the biggest mistake of my life - all he did was get busy with his work and bit distracted. I shouldnt of broken up with him. He said he needs time and doesnt know. HELP i dont want to keep running after him and lose my dignity.
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female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 To end a relationship because you want to play a game and trick him to chase you again is of course not a very wise thing to do. But, from what you write here I think that, even though you might not see this clearly right now, you did end it for a good reason. It could be that he was very busy at work but that is no excuse for stop calling you. And to act distant like he did when you were out with friends doesn't really look like a guy in love with you. You should trust your feelings in this, you did the right thing. You knew deep down he is not the man for you and that is what you acted upon. I don't believe you would have lived in a loving relationship with him in the future when he starts acting like this already after such a short time.
Also he showed no compassion with you when you came crying to his house. What kind of a man acts like that? Even though he had made up his mind not to be with you anymore he could still have acted kindly with you.
You will be much better off with someone else who will come by once you get this other man out of your system. Don't call or text him, just walk off and live a good life with your friends and family. Bear your head high and walk forward!
Wish you all the best!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): He didn't treat you very well, sweetie. I'm sorry but I think you did the right thing by ending it because he was hurting you... and you admitted that.
I know it's very hard breaking up with somebody you really love - I split up with my husband of 13 years last year and haven't been with anybody since.
You are not the only person to feel like this so don't feel like you are alone and that nobody else understands you.
I can also understand how it is very hard to think about other things and concentrate on day-to-day business. However, is this how you want to live the rest of your life?
I think that if you stop chasing him, he might miss the attention and come back to you!
So get out on the town, organize things to do with your mates, stay out enjoying your life because you only live once and it should keep you distracted. You may even get over him if you don't see him or keep in close contact with him! Perhaps you could even meet another man - who is more worthy of you.
There is so much more to life than this man although it may not seem like it now.
Grab a pen and paper and make a list of all the things you live for:
-Friends
-Family
-Career(?)
-Having fun nights out with the girls
There is loads of things other than this idiot who dares to treat you like this.
Good luck. I really hope this helped. xxx
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