A
female
age
36-40,
*ena1
writes:hey guys.can any one tell me what can i do with this man,he is driving me crazy.before we get married he was giving me headache to have sex and i made him wait,and now when we got married he is careless.not as before.i thought i have a higher sex drive than him but i know he masturbates after i sleep,or even during the day ,he goes to toilet to do that .i got fed up.and tired,today he was playing with me and he touched my butt and i told him not to,he asked me why i told him because i dont want him to do it.then he got angry and he said if that what you want i swear i will never touch you.i am getting to the point to not care.by the way he is 35 and i am 21years old and we have only been married in 5 month .do you think this is normal especially in 1t months of marriage.i feel this month passed like they are years.by the way i talked to him and i told him he is cold with me but he says he is not and he denies that he masturbate every time.what should i dodo you have any suggestion?
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female
reader, lena1 +, writes (14 April 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you gina.
now i find someone that understand me,
i always say that to him every word you said but his answer i chosed this.
his mother know that he doesn't sit there because of her .
by the way before i thought he takes care of every thing but when i cam here i found out that his mother pay the rent from the money the government give her.and he pays every think else.and that was one of the reason i did not want her live alone because i thought he will have to pay for her too and i did not want him to have lot of expenses.
but i was wrong.
i have here only my cousin in another state and i cant go to his house because he is single and living with his friend,all my family is out of the country,
and by the way when i talk about moving i am the one selfish(thats what he says)because i think only of my self.
this is driving me crazy.when i tell him i am gonna stop caring about every think he get angry.and he tells me i have to grow up.
A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (14 April 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you gina for your help.
his mother is not that old she is 65years old,her problem is that she had surgery in her hip and lately she broke her arm.but she is fine now ,even she always complain/
she is not bad i just dont like her interfer in my relationship and tell me what to do sometimes.
after his father died he started taking vare of his mother because his sister did not want to ,she did not want her in her house,she even wanted to put her in house for old ladies but my husband did not want.and when i was going to come here she offer to give her ,her own place i mean house to live their and check on her every time,and take care of her expenses but i felt bad i did not want her to live alone because i did not think that decision will affect my relationship and also because i did not think when i ll ask him to move i will have problem with it,especially that he was telling me before i come,that he is gonna move when she stress him out,but i always was stopping him.
but now when he news that i want to move he even stoped mentioning that and he even tell me i have to figure out how to live with his mother,and he even told me that he thought i will make situation good but i am only making it bad because now not only his mother stress him i do to.so how can he thinks of sex.(right he thinks just of porn).
i want to look for job but with this economy there is no jobs ,people losing their jobs now.(lucky me)
so in general i think his mother will stuck to me all my life .
and when i tell him i dont feel like married person he doesnt like that.
i really dont know what to do gina,i am confused i love him and i think i was expecting too much in this marriage i did not think it will be like this.
i understand he doesnt know what to do about with his mother,but can you believe we dont even eat like normal people in dinning room because when he sit their to eat she start talking with him and he get stresse and he even stop eating and now we eat in bed room.
can you beleive he never sit in living room as any normal person because his mother always sitting their and he doesnt want to hear her because she stress him out.
can you beleive he rarely goes to kitchen because the living room near it and his mother always their and he doesnt want to hear her say sonething that will make his blood presur go up.
i told him,i can bear you mother but i cant bear this life eating in the bed room because you dont want to sit near her,since you want this you should act normal and start siting in the living room and at in dining room.
you know what was his answer???;he said that he is going to stop eating so i dont give him headacke about that.
every time one of his friend come he bring him to the bed room because he doesnt want to sit near his mother in living room.i talked to him and i told him he better changes this and when people come take to living room not bed room.because the bed room is prive it room not guest room.
and he told me this is normal,i told him its normal if your single.and he told me i cant sit near m y mom i have only one room in this house,since your giving me headache i am going to stop bring friends home.
can you beleive this.
if you were me ,what would you do.
i am sory i am giving you headache about this things,but your the only person i am talking with.and i am opening my heart too.
thank you gina
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A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (13 April 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey gina.
your right about what you said.his mother really stress him out.and before i come here he told me that he is going to get his own plane but i said no ,because i felt sory for her then.
but when i came here and i got to the point i dont want to live with her any more he told me no ,he told me i should have think of this before.because then his sister was offering for her house and she was going to pay for every thing,and i told him i can still talk with his sister and see if she still have that offer than he said to me so who will take care of her when she is alone,if something happen to her i am the responsible.
to be honest with you i think he never wanted to leave his mother alone even when he was telling me he can get his own place ,because if that the case when i would say let s move he will not argue with me.am i right?
but your right about what you said his mother helping at this problems,she stresses him out and he comes to me to stresses me.
i think from the day i start complaining about his mother he changed without feeling it.but this is only thought.
i really feel sory for her but i dont feel like i am married person at all.
one of his excuses about not caring about sex is that i dont do sexy things,how can i do that and his mother call me every time because she need something.that was his 1st excuse.
after he told me i have big mouth.
i dont really know what to do with him,or with his mother.
he told me i make pbm in this relationship because of his mother.i did nothing i just told him i want my own place i want to feel comfortable in my house ,not every time someone ask me what i am doing in the kitchen or when i am going when i go out side.
the day i chosed to live with his mother i did not think when i will want my own place i will have pbm with him but i was wrong.
and now every time i open my mouth he tells me all this because of me.
i dont really know what to do any more/
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A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (13 April 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you gina again you're really helpful,at least now i found someone that listens to me.i cant go to the doctor alone because i dont know any thing here. i just come to the contry so i am like baby.by the way, i talked to him today and he told me that i have big mouth which makes him not even think of sex.he doesnt know that the big mouth i have was caused by his careless and i always tell him this but his answer are always excuses.sometimes he does stimulate me by words but not as many as i like,and also when he start telling me to not scream so his mother doesnt hear or stop every time that makes me too far from cum.
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A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (12 April 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi gina thank you for the answer.i talked with him but he doesn't accept that he masturbates .but i am sure he does.i was not expected that our life will be like this especially that he was blaming me every time for not having sex with him before we get married.i talked with him and i told him he is cold but he is he is not,and he does not try to do any change .i thought people when they 1st get married their sex drive always high.but i think i was wrong.he tells me that he is old now he is 35years old so its different but i see people that are 50and they still active.that s mean its wrong.by the way his mother living with us ,and he knows no women accept that.but every time i open my mouth he says i am ungrateful.i love him but when he prefer sex more than me he makes me don't want to look at him.and i am from people that cant hide their emotions.and every time he sees me (when i am pissed of )he asks me why i am making faces.(because i used to always smile).and i always tell him if i am smiling that because of u and if i am making faces that because of u too.when i complain to him he does give me attention,he says i am ungrateful because he always kiss me and give me hug.yes he does that but kiss like kissing baby.i told him that too.but he still masturbate.i don't know really what to do with him.if he is addicted to porn?or he is pissed because i never cum when we have sex.how can women cum and every time i am close he tells me to stop because he is close too.by the way i am not on pilland he told me he is going to take me doctor but he never did.i am confused i don't know what to do.i feel lonely i cant tell this to anyone else because its shame,i don't have family here .what should i do
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