A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well, I met a really nice guy. He makes me feel almost invincible it seems. Treats me better than anyone could dream of. But before we met he got in a little bit of trouble on his birthday. He was caught with some pills that weren't his.. I met him before he was convicted.. his attorney told him that he had a high chance of getting the charges dropped, and slim to no chance of getting a felony charge considering it was only a first offense possession and the cops illegally entered the room.How ever they still managed to charge him with the felony.I knew about all of this.. and considering he honest to god felt horrible about it and pleaded that it wasn't who he wanted to be and it was just a really bad mistake.. Considering he was completely open about the issue, and knows he made a poor choice and didn't want to go back to it. I knew he learned from his mistake and can therefore become a better person. 3 Months later, he has proved himself to be a good, trustworthy person.Considering my past -where i almost lost my sister to falling in love with drugs for +5 years- I've always been really cautious and avoided almost every situation dealing with drugs.. the passion and feeling he had when he talked to me about how he felt about what he had done.. I just knew it wasn't who he wanted to be.We talk about how he feels about it a lot.. and he always mentions how he feels like everyone looks at him differently. And how his parents are ashamed/embarrassed by him now. How he doesn't deserve to be with me, or a second chance with anyone. He pretty much just gets down on himself in an all around way sometimes. I try to tell him that everyone is entitled to make their mistakes, and that the only mistake one can truly make and not be forgiven for is the fail to learn from their mistake, or do the same thing and expect different outcomes. And that wanting to be different is the greatest thing someone in his shoes can do, and it shows people that he is truly sorry for his mistake. And that if people were ashamed of him, they wouldn't be showing the support they show. But he never really accepts it.He just kinda.. stays in the down mood.I'm not sure what I, or anyone can do to help him convince himself that he didn't completely ruin himself by making one mistake.He only gets in these moods every so often, once a month or so.. is how often it really shows.. But I know its usually on his mind.. kind of like one of those cartoon rainy day clouds following him..I don't think he deserves to have that cloud on him.. but he feels he should be surrounded by more of them.I guess my question is..Is this normal?Is there anything anyone can do or say?Is it just time that will cure this?Am I right in my thinking?Any feed back would... be spectacular.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): He does sound to me like a good person with a bad luck. If you really want him then tell him that you'll be with him whether he likes it or not. That's exactly what he needs to hear.
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