A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He wants to have a 3some... but i don't.Me and my boyfriend have being going out only a little while now and we are pretty active but haven'y had sex yet as i am 15. We are both waiting until my birthday in april. I trust my guy with my life as ive known him for round 5-6 years and i feel he is my soul mate. However today he came out with the question, could we ever have a 3some with your mate *hannah (*not her real name to protect her). I love my best mate to bits but i feel this was going abit far on my bf's part. I told him i didn't like it and that i didnt want to share him in any of our sexual goings on. I was quite upset and he comforted me saying he was sorry and he didnt feel it would of been that bigger deal and it wldnt cross his mind again if i didnt want it. Now i feel resentful i had been so... well i feel selfish hes always been good to me but i dont like the idea of a 3some when im older. Should i reconsider this in the future or have i done the right thing by saying no here and now? I'm scared he might go off in search of a 3some behind my back if i dont when were older and i really dont want to lose him. i love him so much. Please help me :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (6 August 2007):
 You're very welcome hunni. I wouldn't get too paranoid about your guy and your friend :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your comments it has really helped me think things through, i have also decided to stick to my origanal answer of no and if he doesnt like it he can hop it. I did take your advice to find out if he fancied my friend but his response was no he had only mentioned her because he knew she was my close friend, who happens to be bi which i thought he didnt know but as such i will keep an eye on them both. thank you :) any other comments and advice will still be helpful to me!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): Don't do it. You have made the right choice...you expressed your feelings...told him that youu didnt want to. If he cant accept that than he's no good. Things to consider are: Does he make it obvious he likes your friend? How does he act around her? Are they ever alone? My fear is that he might go behind your back and sleep with her but i dont know him or what kind of relationship you have...just watch out. Your still a virgin and he wants you to do something extreme.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (4 August 2007):
So he hasn't had sex with you yet but wants someone else in the bed with you both?
If you REALLY don't want a three some then don't do it. You are only 15 and have all the time in the world to have them kind of bedroom games. You need to learn about your sexual self first. I don't mean whether you like boys or girls, just what you like in the bedroom and what you don't.
I'm glad to hear you're waiting for your birthday before having sex.
Maybe when you are older you will be up for a three some but you have no way to tell. And I wouldn't do it just to keep your bloke happy. If you don't want to then say no. He'll have to respect that without making you feel guilty. You shouldn't feel guilty for not wanting to share your partner.
If your partner goes off and has a three some behind your back just because you said no then he's not worth anything hunni. If he loves you and respects you then he will accept your choice not to do this.
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I would ask your boyfriend if he fancies Hannah. Or why is it he wants her to be part of a three some. I would be very wary using your best mate as a part of this fantasy.
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