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*hristabel
writes: HiI am seperated from my husband of 25years and have met a guy who has never been married or had any children. He had fallen in love in said and the girl broke his heart. He is reluctant to get involved with any one too soon and wants to take it very slowly which is fine with me because i do to. But i would like a bit more committement from him and would like to see more of him how can i make this happen without crowding him or seem that i am being pushy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2006): I suggest more lunch dates, its a chance for the two of you to see each other on a more casual note and still get to know each other better and talk and not feel croweded. When both of you feel ready and have talked it over than move up to dinner dates and such. You could also go for walks in the park, or to an afternoon movie or to a home and garden show or something that has both of your interests. It is that easy and will put you both at ease and you will both have a great time opening up and having fun together because isnt that what love is all about fun, love and trust.
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reader, smeedle  +, writes (30 January 2006):
 Go with it, take it slowly and enjoy yourselves, you can speed things up by asking him out more, tell him how much you enjoy your dates and would like to go more frequently, think of different places to go and things to do, Variety is the spice of life!
Make sure you tell him you are enjoying the relationship and the pace it is going, you are looking for mature company not marriage at this stage. good luck
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reader, Clarey +, writes (30 January 2006):
 Don't need him, be funny and show him that you are selective. If he thinks you are being clingy you will put him off. Go out with other friends and get chatted up. You will be amazed at how well it levels things when this happens, the focus shifts. He is not your only choice, compare him with a few others. You want more comittment but you want to take things slowly...two ideas which are slightly in conflict. Try my remedy for balancing things out, I promise it works.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2006): You've met a guy with whom you both agree to take this relationship very slow. A wise move for now. But now you want more committment and perhaps, you're feeling this is going way...toooo slow? If you both agreed on this arrangement to take it slow, then there really is no surefire system, to make this look like you're not 'crowding him' him, dear. I would suggest you leave this situation as is and take it 'one day at a time'. People who use this approach have much more tremendous success with relationships, because they have the maturity and insightfulness, to just let it happen, slowly over time. Keep a genuine, caring approach with him and have faith. It will happen, but give it time. Get out with friends and family and just embrace other aspects of your life when he and you aren't together. Take care, hun
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