A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a young parent. My daughter is a year and half. I'm 6 months pregnant with my second child. They don't have the same dad. The guy I'm dating has talked about wanting both the kids to have his last name. He wants to get married soon. He even asked me if he could help name the baby. Honestly I don't think he's ready for being a father or being a husband. I think he still has feelings for his ex and he's with me to get back at her. I'm just really confused and to stressed for any of this. So I'm guessing that my question is What should I do? Should I stay with him or break it off?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank ya'll for your responses. I just wanted to say that we have talked about this going to fast to soon. He has it set in his mind that he his and I'm the one he wants to be with. The second kid isnt his. We've barely been together a month, some of things he says just doesnt seem right. I do like him I just dont love him. Ive been engaged once before and some of the stuff he says I've heard before, and ended up hurt in the end. And now its just not me it's my kids too.
A
male
reader, Chief524 +, writes (23 May 2009):
Tell him what you told us. He must really like you. I think, he thinks, you want to hear that from him. (is the 2nd his?) If it is not his and you like him, just tell him to slow down and that you don't want to rush something like that. The whole ex thing. Thats your call. What the first person wrote is good advice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): Trust your gut. If you feel rushed and confused, that means something is wrong. It's definitely a red flag if someone you haven't been with that long is talking about marriage and kids.
I would be honest with him and tell him you are not on the same page, and that you would like to take more time to get to know him before you commit to anything. If he's willing to wait, that's a good sign. If he keeps pressuring you, that's a sign you were right all along and you'd be better off with someone else.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (23 May 2009):
 if you feel things are not right go with your gut. maybe he wanted to get married to his ex and thinks that marriage is what equals happy. also if you are only in the stage where you term it dating its very creepy to be talking of marriage. talk about bad motives and the too fast too soon rule.
that is real emotions that have depth take time to build but when you convince yourself of ridiculously intense emotions quickly they never ever last as they are always a nice term for a very shallow emotion like lust or envy and revenge.
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